i gave in to compulsions, i need an internet hug and advice!

context: i have online friends i'm talking to and basically we told each other our birthdays and nationality. i told mine back then, but earlier i had this fear of being doxxed and having my identity found out. so, what i did is i lied to them and told them that the info i gave them is a lie, then told them my real info is not disclosed because i don't feel comfortable. essentially, making an entire red herring. i should've never disclosed my info in the beginning when i was hesitant in sharing my actual info! anyways, earlier too i told them the possibility of me deleting my account due to mental health reasons. they don't know the details i'm going through because i've never opened up to them about that stuff. all of them were pretty understanding about it and believed my lie. i feel bad because they really felt sad about the possibility of me leaving :( but i wanted to tell them that before it happens for closures sake, and for them not to worry if they did something wrong. i also still feel wrong for lying. but i guess i won't do anything further about this situation because i might just make this awkward from here on out. what do you guys think?

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

I guess I'm confused, you want to delete your account because of the fear of being doxxed? Is that the only solution?

ooooooooooooo

Date posted: Yesterday

oh sorry, i wasn't able to clarify that me deleting has less something to do with being doxxed, more so i said it on a whim during a mental breakdown because i was really on my feelings at the time...ugh, so dramatic of me!!

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

Don’t delete it but also you’re not alone. I’m severely paranoid too, it’s the ocd and it will convince us of anything but telling them your nationality is not harmful. Don’t separate yourself from people that care for you. If you don’t feel comfortable sharing everything then don’t share everything but don’t let the ocd win. You deserve peace and happiness

ooooooooooooo

Date posted: Yesterday

Yeah, I've calmed down now and I really shouldn't have lied. But I also think clarifying that again would make things awkward...Should I just leave it at that and not think much about it?

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

@ooooooooooooo Whenever you’re ready you can explain yourself. It doesn’t have to be now but it’s nothing wrong with trying to protect your mind. However those thoughts are in a form of ocd but the best thing to do is take your time. Even though my bf knows all my intrusive thoughts I get scared to tell him some because it goes against my morals so sometimes I lie and say it’s the same intrusive thoughts but I finally told him told even though I couldn’t say the full word I explain the couple of letters and he understood. But I did it on my time. It’s honestly not that bad of lying about your nationality 😂alot of people regularly do it on the internet but it’s to troll. Dont beat yourself up but whenever you do tell them let me know because I’m proud of you anyway.

ooooooooooooo

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous - I don't know if it's something I should open up to them to be honest, I feel like it's too personal 😭I haven't opened up to them about the specifics of my mental health. But I do get what you mean.

Anonymous

Date posted: 19h

@ooooooooooooo Not open up about ocd but open up that you lied to protect your identity because you never know who’s watching but literally nobody is watching us. But I see what you mean also, I feel like conspiracy theories puts the general public into a crisis on which they believe. The government isn’t watching you through your phone however the government is taking away human rights and that should be a focus we as a nation should focus on. But I see why you’re scared but promise nobody will take your information even though my ocd tries to convince me people are listening I have to ignore it because I don’t believe that. Sometimes my OCD is heavily focus into politics, arguing with non existent people in my head because people are sometimes bigots

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