Basically the title…. I’ve done amazing with not doing compulsions! I’m so proud of myself. But the thoughts have been in my head pretty aggressively regardless. They aren’t causing as much anxiety anymore, but I thought they would dissipate a bit more quickly with treatment. Does this mean I’m doing ERP wrong (I’ve been doing it maybe 1x every week), or is this just naturally how ocd goes?
Aim to do your exposures every day would be my advice, potentially multiple times per day. Often the anxiety will quieten before the thoughts, it makes sense if you think about it, your mind is used to repeatedly producing these thoughts so it needs to adapt. Another possibility is that you are still doing compulsions they're just not as obvious to you. I've been talking this through with my therapist and I've uncovered that while I've managed to stop some of the compulsions (e.g., asking for reassurance, confession) I still do others, most commonly at the moment monitoring if I "feel better/ok" comparisons with previous times, rumination, avoidance etc.
@titaniumonetwo I definitely am trying not to do those more subtle compulsions, but I can definitely still find myself doing them covertly. I can continue working on that! Doing ERP everyday is so hard. I have a demanding job that makes it hard and I worry if I do it a lot I’ll get worse (I know I will actually get better), but there’s a part of me that is so tired of working on it and drained from doing ERP. Are there any other ERP exercises you do that are less involved (watching coming out videos, breakup videos, long term divorce, wlw content can just be a lot sometimes) - this is specifically about HOCD and ROCD
@Bubba100 The challenge is if you do an "easier" ERP you might not gain as much benefit, it needs to be the right level that it's challenging without being impossible. Totally get the fear of making it worse, I often worry about that too and I have to fight "today isn't so bad, so maybe we'll skip ERP as it might make today bad"... If you listen to it, it's that pesky avoidance compulsion again! If you're finding the ERP too challenging though, it's worth discussing with the therapist, it might need adjusting and coming back to later, that's what the hierarchy is for. My main obsessions these days revolve around pocd and there are some things I simply will not do (yet) as they're not likely at the moment to be therapeutic. I wonder if you're slightly struggling in a similar way to how I have more recently. You've got the anxiety down so now you almost have a fear of the return itself rather than the actual thoughts so directly. So the thought is a bit more "I need to be careful to not do/see X otherwise I might go back to thinking about Y"? I'm not sure what your main OCD themes are but happy to talk through some options with you if it would be helpful and you want to share a bit more information, having said that, if you do have a therapist available to you, they're experts on this stuff and can help to tailor appropriately
@titaniumonetwo Oh wow I didn’t realize avoiding ERP was its own compulsion. I guess I should really force myself to. It’s not that it’s too challenging, I definitely agree with you that I struggle with the same things you said…. I have mostly ROCD and HOCD and they tend to mix together. I have a therapist but we’re now doing every few months to do check ins as I’ve recently done well and like you said the anxiety is gone but ERP maintenance has always been difficult for me
Unfortunately, the goal is not to get rid of the thoughts! So proud you aren’t doing compulsions and are sitting with the discomfort. I’d also suggest doing ERP a bit more maybe 2-3 times a week, but daily would be my goal to really kick it in the butt. OCD is sneaky where you think you’ve stopped all compulsions, but sometimes you’ve replaced them with other ones that aren’t as obvious, like mentally checking, etc. The goal is to get to the point where your fear triggers “so what?” In your brain without you needing to go back to it to check, etc. The thoughts will always still be there and it’s something we have to accept, but eventually with practicing (you are literally re-wiring your brain) it won’t be as often and the thoughts won’t bother you as much. They will just kind of, be there and you have a choice to respond to them or not. Once you keep making the choice not to engage, you’ll become more confident and not notice them as much! :) Remember the goal isn’t to stop the thoughts, it’s to not jump into them when they do pop up. ♥️ I hope this helps!! You got this!
@emilypetrilla I can definitely try to do ERP more. It’s so hard with my demanding job. Any advice for less invasive ERP to do?? I am definitely going to watch out for more covert compulsions bc I’m sure I’m still doing a few in just not aware of
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