ROCD

@JS55555 Thank you for your words! It was actually an OCD therapist on tiktok lol. But I also agree, not sure what she’s talking about! Thanks! And you stating real relational concerns are obvious is very helpful!

@Mk3 No problem! I am still skeptical of people who say they are OCD therapists on TikTok. It is possible that by distressing events she meant something like cheating, but it is a poor choice of words. I strongly believe that when determining if something is OCD, it is important to pay attention to your reaction as opposed to the content. As people with OCD, we can "logic" our way to any reading of a situation, but it is easy to see that we are panicing to a very high unnatural degree, and that tells us that it is OCD.

@JS55555 Yes. A lot of things Im like this could be a real concern but it also could be my ocd making it extreme and the fact that I’m scared of having a real concern tells me all I need to know. I am going to try to trust myself that I would naturally handle a real concern if it came about. If my reaction isn’t “strong enough” then I worry it’s a real concern it’s like never ending

@JS55555 I just always have SOMETHING to worry about. It’s like a bunch of stuff about my relationship and it’s overwhelming. Zooming out and looking at what’s happening and the big picture is kind of helping me right now. It’s a pattern that can be stopped

@Mk3 OCD can be any level of reaction. The importance is not on severity of the feeling as much as the feeling of urgency it creates. In my 10 years of experience with this disorder and most of the different themes, there have been very very very rarely times where the OCD fear came true (I have probably had tens of thousands of different fears). Importantly, when the thing I was worried about came true, my sense of urgency and anxiety went away because it wasn't nearly as bad or a big deal as I had thought. All of this being said, OCD either creates fake problems or severely magnifies insignificant ones, but almost all are fake problems.

@Mk3 Also, there is this girl who I really have feelings for, and I am not in a relationship with her, but that doesn't stop OCD. I have gotten much better about OCD (all themes), but I still experience some symptoms. She lives in a different city, so that is already out of my comfort zone. As I am sure you know, OCD flares up a bunch when you are in a different environment. When I am in her city, my ROCD flares up, but when I am back home in my environment I am used to, the same thoughts that scared me there me when it comes to her don't bother me (they used to bother me at home too but recovery has made it just in her city now). That just goes to show how our brains aren't actually processing a rational fear, it is just a defective internal alarm system. I really care about this girl, and deep down I choose to look at the intense fear that my OCD spins up about her as evidence of that (don't use that as a checking compulsion though). It sounds like deep down you really care about this person, and that is a great thing! This voice is not representative of you. It is a voice that is working against your best interests and you can resist it. I often think of this Noah Kahan lyric: "I broke a bone that never healed in my hand, so when I hold her close, I might loosen my grip, but I will never let her go"