HOCD and acceptance

Alright so they say that when you do treatment at the beginning toughts feel even more real and you feel okay with it. But mine feels 100 percent real especially because of the real event and if I am okay with my thoughts or feel like want it okay with my theme and still have thoughts whaf feels real then I can't think that maybe it's real maybe it's not. Because it's so convincing. So if I do treatment I'm going to think that I am bi and being okay with it or even want it. But still not real? And somehow it starts to go away somehow?

I hate this

Date posted: 21h

I’m dealing with this right now

Anonymous

Date posted: 21h

You think that you're bi and you're okay with it or just wonderint about this like me?

I hate this

Date posted: 21h

@Anonymous No my thoughts tell me I’m a lesbian and last night after therapy when I filled out the triggers and fears worksheet I had a massively intrusive thought and my anxiety has been through the roof ever since. I’m not ok with any of this and I’m terrified. But apparently it’s normal in the beginning

Michael N

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21h

I think the first and most important thing to learn is that none of our thoughts are “real” — and, that we are not our thoughts. It’s giving them attention that gives them their staying power and can make them seem so convincing. Being bi is neither bad nor good, neither wrong nor good. If you’re not acting on your thoughts, then none of it really matters anyway. If you do act on them, then you can decide whether that experience feels authentic and pleasurable or not as long as you attach no shame or guilt to it. The worst thing is shaming yourself for simply having these thoughts - and they’re not even in your control. So, dump the shame and give yourself the grace you deserve. Things will get better!

anca

Date posted: 21h

Struggling with this too. I don't feel like I'm accepting thoughts, I feel like I'm accepting a different identity and it's this feeling that keeps me doing compulsions

Cat-Mom

Date posted: 11h

We all think we are the exception with OCD. I questioned my sexuality before lightly and felt I wasn’t authentically attracted to my partner. These things were real evidence to point at me potentially being gay. At the end of the day, though, none of our cases are exceptional because they all follow the same pattern loops!

minioooons

Date posted: 20h

I think it’s hard bc acceptance sometimes feels like we have to accept this grey area when naturally or prior we were in the black or white (straight/gay) and now with uncertainty it seems like we’re just submitting to it I understand it’s super difficult

tarantula ke...

Date posted: 20h

The entire thing with ocd is it is engaging your fight or flight with a simple thought. That's not normal and what therapy is trying to reset. A non ocd sufferer can think hey what if I'm bi, ponder it and let it go and be on with their day. Think of finding a shiny rock on the ground. You might think it's interesting and probably won't remember it two hours later. That's what therapy wants these thoughts to be.

Anonymous

Date posted: 20h

So if I experienced ,,attraction,, before that doesn't mean anything? Like it was just an intrusive thought and I put too much meaning to it back the before HOCD because I was already sceard of this topic but didn't get triggered? I am scared that this means I am the exception and I was and am just in denial.

Wildcat

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 19h

@Anonymous There is nothing to be scared of. I suffered with SOOCD. Every once in a while I have a flare up. I thought I was in denial, and no longer knew who I was and it freaked me out but after therapy going through ERP, I improved a little bit every day. Accept the thought and say maybe, maybe not. Give yourself grace and self compassion. Say it out loud or in your head. Embrace the anxiety and do not fight it. Start with small exposures like googling a picture of someone who is gay, lesbian, or straight (whatever the fear is) and stare at them. Do not fight the thoughts, feelings or urges. If you start, use response prevention like maybe I am gay, may I am not. Or whatever sexual orientation. Or no amount of analysis will give me 100% certainty. You could also say hey OCD, I am (Gay or Lesbian or straight). Oh well! It’s hard but the more you practice the easier it gets.

tarantula ke...

Date posted: 19h

@Anonymous You can find someone attractive and not want to make love to them. I'm a straight guy and I find plenty of guys attractive. I can appreciate they are dam good looking but that's where it ends. My lust is definitely for women. While I have ocd, it's not relationship oriented. So an intrusive thought like that is just an idle curiosity and then I move on. This is what ocd does. It takes a simple thought and launches you into doomsday mode. I'm sure you have plenty of idle thoughts that you give no second thoughts too that might launch a health ocd person into a spiral.

Michael N

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 20h

We cannot be the exception in a game that has no rules. OCD doesn’t discriminate — if we’re obsessing over needing certainty in a world that cannot possibly provide it, then we feed our OCD. Stay in the Now — whatever you may have felt or thought in the past should be left there, it simply does not matter in the Now. Worrying over what may or may not happen in the future is just a frustrating exercise in futility, because it is beyond anyone’s control. If you can do that m, then you’ll already be on the road to a better life with or without OCD. You got this! Good luck!

Anonymous

Date posted: 19h

So that doesn't necesserly mean that it's true?

Michael N

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 13h

Correct. But if you really want to beat OCD, it is far better to just allow for and accept the uncertainty of not knowing. OCD hates that — and sitting with that discomfort, even though it can be rough, is what will eventually help you to beat it.

Anonymous

Date posted: 4h

Thank you guys!

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