My next project I’m working on for myself: saying “no” to others and setting limits on people walking over me. I am a HUGE people pleaser. It was actually part of my treatment because I wouldn’t be able to speak my mind. At my worst I was about to pass out but couldn’t suggest to the group that I needed to sit down. I have come a LONG way. But lately, now that I live in New York City and have people that want to come visit (which I LOVE!) A few friends will drag me around because I can’t say “no” One friend came to visit this week while I have 10 pages of my thesis due on Monday. She promised she wouldn’t interrupt. She comes and after a fun full day and seeing Jimmy Fallon, she wanted to smoke a cigarette. (I don’t smoke) She asked if I would come with her first before going to write my paper. (She knows school is my biggest struggle with my OCD) I hesitate and say “I really need to write my paper” (yay me!) but then she gets annoyed and says “I’m afraid security will say something and I can’t do it alone with my anxiety” I really wanted to say “What about my anxiety? I can’t go down. It’s as simple as that. Either you go by yourself or you’re not smoking. I’m not going to just stand outside” But I didn’t. I told her security wouldn’t say anything. They have your ID. But she said she can’t do it. And what do I do? I say “fine” go out with her. She then asks if it’s fine if she smokes a 2nd cigarette, which I say fine even though I was shocked she would make me wait even longer. We go upstairs and I have a very mini meltdown alone in my room because of my anxiety on my paper because now 1.5 hours went by. I have another friend who makes excuses to have things go her way, and I just don’t have it in me to say “well, I guess you won’t come to visit then because I can’t do that” I don’t see her often because of this fact. I don’t understand how people are just inconsiderate and disregard people who are already going out of their way to make them happy. Having it happen twice this week, I’m done being pushed around. At least in theory I am. We’ll see how I do saying “no” ? Sorry for the mini rant! My next post should actually be helpful. I’m going to post some of the material I received from treatment on my blog and post the link if anyone wants it ???