OCD twists life.

It’s so much of a struggle doing anything positive in life because OCD wants to twist it. I feel like I’m not allowed to enjoy good things. It may be pessimism as well, but I just get intrusive thoughts about how my happiness will soon end and now I will have to have something bad happen to me since I’m not allowed to have good things happen. It will be a sudden image of how lonely I feel laying in bed after a long night of fun is over. This used to bother me a lot when I was little. I fear things I enjoy will get “ripped” out of my hands and I will be punished. Things that bring me pleasure are “sinful” to me. OCD finds a way to make it unholy and utterly shames me for it if it remotely *is* truly a sin. I shake my head and shut my eyes when I have intrusive thoughts. It forces me to be depressed. Maybe I shouldn’t let it control me so much. I was in such a better state months ago. P.s I have terrible reactions to change every year and I’m in the thick of it. Does anyone else feel this way too? Maybe it’s not OCD entirely but it’s very intrusive for me and not something I want to think. A lot of pessimism is in there tho.

Tea and Honey

Date posted: Yesterday

It is very common for OCD to make people feel like good things are going to be taken from them, or that they are going to be punished. I have felt like that a lot myself. It is also very common for people to feel like they're not allowed to enjoy fun things, or that fun things are sinful. I've experienced this as well. And I've read about a lot of other people with similar experiences. I noticed you said you shake your head when the intrusive thoughts come. I used to do things like that also. But it's really important that you stop doing that. Shaking your head is a compulsive part of the cycle. It's important to apply ERP to that cycle and break out of it. I'm in a similar cycle right now with my nose. I keep letting the OCD win. We have to fight that by refusing to do the compulsions. I'm here to talk if you want to talk about anything. OCD recovery is a long process, and we take small steps at a time.

oliviabroewn

Date posted: 21h

@Tea and Honey I’m glad I’m not alone in this feeling. And I didn’t completely realize that shaking my head was a compulsion, thanks for pointing that out. I feel very nervous lately and im getting impatient with recovery. I look back and think about how calm I used to feel and I have no clue what brought me to where I am now. It’s very exhausting, especially with classes starting soon for me, I’m dreading it.

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 20h

@oliviabroewn God has you on a journey. You might not understand why, but this will be for YOUR GOOD. Nothing you are going through will be wasted. This whole thing will make you stronger.

oliviabroewn

Date posted: 18h

@Tea and Honey That’s a beautiful way to think of it. I needed some positivity :) thank you

Firefly girl

Date posted: Yesterday

I hate this part of myself. I can’t even tell if there’s good things im overlooking and won’t let myself feel or if im genuinely letting ocd ruin everything and my life is actually a shit show and in shambles . There’s this constant pressure to make things better and be better and improve but nothing feels good enough or right enough

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