A random ramble because there's no journal section

I had a stressful day today. Work was crazy and stressful. I had to conduct a last minute 3 hour virtual training...... Instead of doing it, I called in sick and took my son to urgent care. He was sick....... however I was really also finding an excuse to avoid public speaking as I previously had an embarrassing public speaking moment when I had IT issues during a training I was conducting. I was mortified. While at the doctor, my son ended up having a sinus infection, ear infection AND to torture me........... a chest xray which showed pneumonia. While I was at the doctor with my son, my jaw was hurting which was convincing me I was stroking out from stress induced raging high blood pressure, my face felt weird and my eyelids were twitching. 🙄🙄🙄 I said to myself "it is what it is...." as my therapist taught me and carried on.....Uncomfortably. 🥴🥴🥴🥴😱😱😱😱😱😱 In hindsight, I am sure I was anxiously clenching my jaw. Then..... I went to work because I wouldn't get paid otherwise..... and had to face the Director who was irritated that I refused to do the training. Some days I love my job.... other days I want to run for the hills. But all and all, I'm happy I took my son to the doctor and that I kissed my Director's ass so she couldn't bare to be irritated with me any longer. And I did all the shit I had to do. I'm on Day 2 of taking a new medication that literally sat in my house for over a year because I'm such a hypochondriac that I literally was too scared to take it... even though not taking it could create issues that would be much worse. And rationally, I know the pill is perfectly safe. Anyways, I took it !!! and I'm happy to report, I am still alive and kicking! Now let's see what ridiculous behavior I participate in tomorrow. But at least it's Friday! I have an action packed weekend planned, but I'm thinking it might just turn into a doing nothing in my comfy bed all weekend because the thought of actually seeing friends (who I adore) and being active (which makes me feel accomplished) actually just makes me want to dry heave. 🥴 If you actually read all of this, kudos to you. Because I got nothing interesting going on in my life🤣 but sometimes it just feels good to let it all out!

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

I guess I'd say that bringing your kid to the doctor 👨‍⚕️ seems like the right choice even though you dodged the public speaking stuff (I'm not a fan of doing that either). I worked in tech but never had to speak at any length except status updates, etc. I used to (and likely still do) clench and grind my teeth 🦷 and have had the jaw lock up quite a bit in the past (very painful). It had gotten off kilter and oddly, in a skirmish, I got clocked in the jaw and the impact, while painful the bruised bone was, straightened my jaw. I'd not recommend this approach but it was odd. Stalling out medication 💊 seems like it's probably a common uh 😐 thing. I also tend to do things like avoiding making calls for important things because of social trauma. The tech world seems pretty stressful. I used to think it was pretty chill but maybe 🤔 it goes in waves. I usually did Operations kind of stuff, so it was more putting out fires, setting up machines, cabling, etc.

Nocturnal-Ha...

Date posted: Yesterday

There is a Journal section in the Therapy tab, under the Practice option. These entries are viewable by your NOCD therapist. Some of what I'm doing is writing stuff here in the community tab, and then copying and pasting it into a journal entry, since I don't think the therapists end up reading any of what we all post over here. Best wishes to you, and sometimes we all just have to vent somehow, to get the looping nonsense out of our heads. :-)

Anonymous

Date posted: 22h

There is a journal section I've used a couple times

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