I hope I dont have cancer

I keep feeling this pain in my right upper arm near my armpit, and cant stop thinking its a swollen lymph node that is caused by cancer. Plus I keep getting slight vertigo and am tired (totally not from the stress of moving, inconsistent sleep, or stress of always being anxious *sarcasm) its GOTTA be cancer like my dad had. I don't want to go to the doctor for nothing, but if it's not all in my head, I wanna make sure I catch it early.

Lynx Rufus

Date posted: Yesterday

Have you talked to a doctor? I find my ocd keeps me stuck in the "worrying purgatory" as I call it. I am worried about some medical thing...but also worried its just my ocd and this goes back and forth and nothing gets done. If you actually go to the doctor then the ocd has nothing left to chew on. The important caveat to this is you could get stuck in the trap of going to your doctor constantly for the reassurance that you don't have cancer. Another trap. I try to think "what would someone without ocd do?" They would just go to the doctor and get screened regularly. All that extra worrying ocd is insisting upon is not helpful, its just giving you the illusion of control which feels good in the short term but is what keeps us stuck.

TacitusKilgo...

Date posted: Yesterday

That's the issue, is if I go to the doctor just because of this, I think I will be feeding into it more. If it wasn't for my o c d, i'd probably just be frustrated about dealing with a pulled muscle at work

Lynx Rufus

Date posted: Yesterday

@TacitusKilgore1889 Definitely get more specific help from your therapist then. Thats the tough thing with ocd everyone is different. I dated a woman that had bad medical ocd. If she went to the doctor for 1 thing then it would snowball and she would go for every little thing. She was likely hoping for reassurance from the doctor. I am the opposite. I put off going to the doctor because I will be convinced its my OCD, even when sometimes its not. Her ocd loved reassurance. My ocd is agorophobic "the doctor can't help you anyway, your wasting everyone's time yada yada" The key similarity? Ocd is still taking up so much time and attention. For what? For OCD's sake of course!

TacitusKilgo...

Date posted: Yesterday

@Lynx Rufus I'm coming to the unfortunate conclusion that I might have to find a way to make therapy work for me again... with my schedule and this season in life I had to drop out of it (not to mention i have never hardly gotten use out of therapy)

Lynx Rufus

Date posted: 8h

@TacitusKilgore1889 I know its tough. Ocd is sneaky. It helps to have a therapist to parse it out with so you don't stay stuck.

Avery M

Date posted: Yesterday

Sometimes a swollen lymph node can mean that you're just coming down with a cold or something like that. I get them all the time if I'm either sick or fighting something off

TacitusKilgo...

Date posted: Yesterday

I've wondered if it might be something benign like that, combined with a sore muscle. I cant feel my bicep hurt from bowling and work, i just wonder if its hurting too much to JUST be muscles. Had felt a tad stuffy lately so maybe both at once is just making it worse than before?

Avery M

Date posted: Yesterday

Definitely could be, plus swollen lymph nodes can be sore. Mine usually are

marissa_stan...

Date posted: Yesterday

I have been dealing with health anxiety and I relate to you so much. I have convinced myself that something is really really wrong just because I had blurry vision for 20 minutes in my left eye this morning. Sometimes the smallest things could feel huge. (I wish I can take my own advice LOL) your lymph nodes are probably just a bit sore from feeling under the weather . Hang in there :)

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