I am feeling very sensitive right now

This isnt exactly an OCD thought, I'm feeling very sensitive right now. I am on vacation so my OCD is making me somewhat unstable, and I am already quite the sensitive person but I am able to move on decently well now and function like a normal person it when I have to but for background there is this girl who I have strong feelings for and have for the past two years and I told her I had feelings for her and it didn't end up how I wanted. From what I found out from a different source, she has mental struggles and is scared to get into a relationship. She has no idea that I have severe OCD because I hide it very well and so I falsely come of as a perfectly mentally healthy person that would be brought down by being with someone with mental issues. Anyways that is a very shortened background to show how this is a pretty sad story So like I said I am on vacation so I am out of my comfort zone and I have been on edge and generally feeling somewhat unstable all night. I am at a restaurant and I saw a fire in an oven and it reminded me of how her house almost burned in the LA fires a few years ago and most of her neighborhood burned down and that is making me very sad. She is such a sweet person and does not deserve any of the many things that she has had to endure throughout her life.

sturdy_

Date posted: Yesterday

Sending positive thoughts. I think that people with OCD typically have higher levels of empathy, and it seems that you care about her a lot. Her story seems sad so I think it would be natural to have that reaction. I have also experienced thinking of people and animals going through sad situations/getting them stuck in my head, which makes me very sad because they don’t deserve to go through what they do. It sucks bc I’ve wished I could control some of those things but have to accept I can’t control that and can only control how I react/bring kindness to others

JS55555

Date posted: Yesterday

Thank you! It is a very difficult situation because I really just want to be there for her/support her but even though I have very strong signs that she likes me (my mom and aunt agree), I can't because after being around me for a bit she seems to get pretty nervous. I think it may be because I have this thing where I believed that because she seems to have mental issues, I felt like I needed to act very happy around her because I thought that would make her feel better. That acting super mentally healthy around her became a compulsion of mine ironically. I have realized that that is not a good practice for so many reasons. For one, when I am very sick during the worst of my ocd, I don't listen to happy songs, I listen to songs by people also struggling so I feel more like it is okay to not be okay, and can make me feel just a tiny bit better. I don't react well to cheerful songs when I am unwell because it just makes me feel more broken. Why in the world did I think that acting super happy around her would make her feel better? And second, obviously covering up my severe mental issue is very unhealthy, and I have a problem with doing that around just about everyone, which is very exhausting. I finally allowed myself to not try and seem super bubbly around her when I saw her last and she seemed much more calm around me. Sorry for the super long reply. I am mostly just thinking out loud. Because this involves someone else's well being, this is an incredibly complex situation and that can be a little difficult to manage as someone who doesn't exactly have the biggest history of rational thinking. And I am sorry to hear about your experience with this type of feeling as well. I really relate to your comment in general too.

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