I’m scared 🙁

I have this really scary thing that happens, with my harm ocd where I will suddenly think about my intrusive thought and I think ‘imagine if I done it anyways/acted on it anyways’ or it’s almost like an urge and it feels like your going to actually go and do that intrusive thought and it feels like an intense urge almost like I want yo actually go and do it or that it’s like I have to do it (similar to the feeling of wanting do compulsions except you obviously can’t do it because it’s a harm intrusive thought) idk how to explain it but it’s a killing intrusive thought usually about my mum and it’s so scary but in the moment it feels so real and like I can bring it on anytime and it feels so real like it’s my own feeling and like it could happen like acting on impulse and it’s really horrible has anyone else experienced something similar. I’m scared because it feels almost like you could lose control or almost like it feels like I want to do it and i don’t understand why it feels sometimes like I want it or like it. It’s really confusing and I’m scared

lemonline19

Date posted: Yesterday

hi friend i have a similar them although it’s to myself… i completely understand the false urges they also scare me! But at the end of the day i like to think of them as a rush or anxiety that our brain misinterprets as a “urge”. I still do struggle with it heavily but what helps for me is focusing on my breathing or just trying my hardest to detach from that thought giving it no meaning. by all means it does take practice. i’m so sorry your going though this but we will both get through this. if u need anyone to vent too im here ❤️‍🩹

OCDrecovering

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

Fear of losing control is a really common intrusive OCD thought. OCD is ego dystonic and the "doubting" disorder so it makes sense that sometimes it can even feel real, trust, I've been there and it can be terrifying. Acknowledging the intrusive thought is a good first step, take a breather, be kind to yourself, you're not alone 🫶🏼

jupitrr07

Date posted: Yesterday

i’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this ❤️‍🩹 it is never easy. your intrusive thoughts do not define you - they are not what you actually desire. OCD tends to take your worst fears and constantly remind you of them and try to convince you it’s what you actually want. it is not. the fact that you are so afraid of being this way shows that you don’t actually desire this! try and take some deep breaths, drink some water, and maybe spend some time with your mom to calm yourself down and take your mind away from those thoughts. maybe you could even open up to her about how you’re struggling right now. i know it’s easier said than done, but you are not alone! i’m wishing the best for you, stranger 🫂❤️

lu22

Date posted: 11h

@jupitrr07 But they keep coming and it gets to the point where it feels like I want it and it feels almost like a compulsion ‘you have to do it’ to get relief and that’s such a sick idea but it feels like almost like I have to act on it and that I would do it anyways and like it would happen and that I want it and I feel desensitised like idek what’s going on

danny02

Date posted: 22h

Don’t engage with it, stop trying to figure it out. Acknowledge it’s there but you don’t have to do anything with it. Sit with the anxiety, uncertainty and other feelings and move on. I’ve been where all of you are and you got no idea how quiet your brain gets when you get better and understand the paradoxical mind. Stop the fight and just feel wierd, uncertain and impulsive and move on. ❤️❤️

lu22

Date posted: 11h

@danny02 Normally I can just forget about it but this time it’s weird it feels like ‘you have to do it’ or you want to do it or you would just ‘get up right now and do it’ regardless and it’s really bad but it feels like as soon as I try to stop thinking about it, i think about it again like ‘get up and do it now anyways’ and I don’t even feel worried or scared in that moment it just feels like I want it and would do it but I’m just choosing not to and I don’t even know if I hate it anymore it’s really bad like feeling like being evil is a choice

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