I’m guilty and so stuck, pls leave some tips 🫠⁉️

It’s long, but pls take the time if you can. 🫠❤️ I just had a really.. interesting situation happen. I was out with a boy tonight. Not a formal date or anything, but we had a BLAST. SO much fun. Nothing happened between us, but I guess it was implied that we were hanging out as a boy and a girl, attracted to the opposite gender if ykwim? So nothing serious but kinda somewhat I could see him being into me. I’ve had to build up the courage to do this because of the guilt I felt after my ex found out I was going out again. I know he can’t control me, but I kept saying I wanted to get back together with him (I do) and he kept declining and keeping me in a weird spot so I decided to just go out again and he was extremely sadenned by the thought of me doing that. I told him I wouldn’t again until he MAYBE came back but I did decide to go back out when I realized how stupid I sounded/he blocked me… then in the middle of the hangout, my ex unblocked me. He texted me. He didn’t know that I was out with anyone- hell, he knows the guy. That’s the worst part. I didn’t respond, I blocked him before he could say anything further, and now I can’t stop thinking about it. Why did he unblock me? He’d be CRUSHED if he found out I was hanging out with someone else during that, which I know doesn’t matter but to me it really does because I told him I wouldn’t (but again, he then disappeared so everyone convinced me to stop putting my life on hold..) I have no clue what to do now. I won’t answer him. I even switched colleges to get away from the temptation. I miss him so bad it hurts, but part of me knows right now is the time to get out there and just date around to see what really matters to me. But I feel massive guilt and mourning towards him.. and I think I want to be just friends with this other guy. I don’t even know what advice I’m looking for, but if you have anything I’d appreciate it a lot. I’m not looking to just “move on”… it feels like starting a story with an unfinished one in the background. Idk it doesn’t feel over

Dannyr

Date posted: 23h

I think the best situation for you would be to tell him it’s over, if that’s what you want, because the tension between you both is clearly going nowhere and I feel like there’s already a lot of damage done to the relationship, take the weight off your shoulders.

Anonymous

Date posted: 20h

Heartbreak and saying goodbye to a love can be extremely hard. I know it feels like a huge loss but if he can’t handle the difficult stuff and being committed to you now then even if you got back together you’ll always struggle to trust if he can be the person you need. I know you don’t want to hear “move on” because it hurts but the relationship isn’t building you up, so probably it’s not the right one for you. You tried fighting for it and it’s going in circles, so put yourself first and choose your happiness. You can get closure by sending a letter or unblocking-text-reblock telling him kindly and to the point that you are ending the relationship so you can both move on. Sometimes it can help to step back and reflect on what would you tell your best friend or sister etc if they came to you asking for advice. It’s okay to feel good. It’s okay to feel bad. Just try to keep moving in the best direction for your health.

bsquiggled

Date posted: 17h

@Anonymous Thank you for this, this put a lot of things into a way better perspective 🥲🥲

danny02

Date posted: 23h

Do you and your ex still like each other? What’s with the wierd game he is playing with you. Has he been seeing other people?

bsquiggled

Date posted: 17h

@danny02 Yea, he even ranted on about how he’s in love with me but I have severe ocd (relationship ocd) and he can’t handle my obsessions with being worried I like other guys and etc. which is totally fair. He hasn’t been fully “seeing” anyone else but he has mentioned reconnecting with people he knows/following girls. But then he keeps putting his foot in the door and saying “maybe when you get better” and to “make him proud” practically putting a leash on me 🫠 I miss him so much but I know that I’m caught in some sort of manipulation tactic and I feel bad that he doesn’t know I’ve been out with others.. I just don’t know if I can do the whole “tell him it’s over” thing because I don’t want it to be indefinitely.. do I have to if I’m talking to other people if he doesn’t even contact me anyways ?

danny02

Date posted: 12h

My now wife did not abandon me when we where dating and younger, she supported me and helped me and loved the whole me. I would leave him and move on. True love is working through the tough times together. Love is selfless not selfish.

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