Partner struggling with my issues

Ive been going through a rough month or so with my mental health and OCD and my boyfriend is finding it hard to deal with. Any tips or advice on how to manage mental health in a way that I still feel seen and supported while maintaining healthy boundaries so it doesn't become too heavy for him to deal with? Btw, I'm not overbearing with it or talk about it all the time or anything. I'm very sensitive to his feelings and the way it affects him too. Just so you don't think I'm codependent and make it his responsibility - because I don't!

Mymindisatpe...

Date posted: 16h

Leave him

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 16h

Go to therapy for it couple's therapy I've been dealing with this for 30 years it takes a toll on everybody a therapist will help him deal with it productively for you and him.

Anonymous

Date posted: 16h

My boyfriend also has OCD so I can see from both sides why dealing with these feelings can be really challenging. If he is interested maybe sending him some tips of how to better support you, how to respond when you are spiraling. Or letting him now if you’re looking for comfort or a solution when you bring up your OCD. It has helped me to be able to learn what my boyfriend needs without feeding in to his spirals, I often try find a calm activity we can do to try to take his mind off of things, sometimes no talking is better than to try and figure out the root cause of everything . Maybe teaching him some coping skills you’ve learned so he can offer those. It can be frustrating to see your partner having a hard time and not being able to help or fix anything, so just helping him understand what he can do may ease things a bit.

irish_and_ocd

Date posted: 16h

Thank you, this is nice insight. I appreciate it ❤️

ProgressLoading

Date posted: 16h

Does he tell you things have been difficult for him to deal with lately? Or are you assuming this and projecting OCD-type intrusive thoughts onto him? I’m suspecting more of the latter because I recognize some of my own thought processes and a need for certainty/clarity in the language you use here.

irish_and_ocd

Date posted: 16h

No, he told me that he's been finding it difficult to deal with

ProgressLoading

Date posted: 16h

@irish_and_ocd I see. That must be hard to hear, but I’m proud of you both for having the type of relationship to be so open and to both want to make things easier on each other. I just saw another post from someone asking us for help with what to tell her partner when his OCD flares. I offered some specific examples from my therapist of things my husband can say to me without feeding my reassurance-seeking. I wonder if it would help you and your boyfriend if he had a few scripts to say. These could also be a gentle reminder to you that you’re supported but the situation is a bit above his pay grade as partner, not therapist: I trust you to sit with this moment without having to solve it. I know this is hard, but you don’t have to figure it out right now. You’ve gone through spikes before; you can do this, too.

irish_and_ocd

Date posted: 13h

@ProgressLoading Thank you, this is really great. I appreciate it a lot!

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User type: Staff

Date posted: 14h

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irish_and_ocd

Date posted: 13h

Yes please! Some help on how to manage mental health struggles as a couple so it doesn't become a burden

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