This feels like proof that I'm just a creep.

18+ please. I have talked about my friend a lot on here, but this particular thing is something that consistently bothers me. Basically, I'm very much attracted to my friend, s*xually, and I have constant thoughts about it when she's around. A very particular thing that bothers me is that it feels like the only reason I would want to video call her is for a chance to see her without clothes. It's always the first thought that pops into my head, and I end up feeling excited at the possibility. It's not the only reason, but would this not make me a certified creep for it being something taken into consideration ever? For it being any sort of motivation? Especially if she isn't aware that its something I would want? I've talked about it on Reddit a long while ago, and mentioned how she often just doesn't wear anything when she's at home, and they told me that it was her choice to turn her camera on and that I was beating myself up too hard. But I don't think I'm beating myself up hard enough, it's always my very first thought every single time and it's making me angry.

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

With somethings there just isn't a "get out of jail" free card. What it sounds like you're feeling is guilt. If you're acting on the thoughts you're performing actions. Therefore you're playing into the fantasy/ idea. If it feels wrong chances are it is because you feel like a "creep." Tell your friend the truth. You can tell people things without it sounding off the wall crazy. Like others have told you it's her choice to pick up the phone/video. You can always bring it up casually and when she picks up make a subtle joke about how you were hoping she was naked. If you know she is usually naked I'm assuming she's told you. Either way the guilt will eat at you so tell her or don't and let it eat at you. If you're not going to tell her don't video call her. You're sexually attracted to her so those thoughts are normal. If she told you she sits around naked all the time at her house maybe she likes you too and that's why she told you in the first place for a reaction. There is no context here so not sure. Maybe if you're honest with her it could go somewhere. Dwelling on it will be a stand still though.

Samwell

Date posted: Yesterday

Keep on with getting better with dealing with ocd! Create distance and don’t engage with intrusive thoughts. “Maybe you do, maybe you don’t”. Treat it just as noise! ERP is a life-safer!

danny02

Date posted: Yesterday

Also try your best to stop posting and trying to get a satisfactory answer, it’s very compulsive.

danny02

Date posted: Yesterday

Dude you need to come except you are a sexual being. Your body is supposed to do this. What you have control over is weather you want to Persue these feelings. You don’t have to turn it into anything if you don’t want to. Just because she turns you on does not mean you have to engage sexually with her. You have self control. But at the same time you need to accept you are reacting in a way that is completely biologically normal, especially if you are single and so is she.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond