So ocd

@minioooons Yeah I think it’ll be the best I can do rn. It’s just kinda hard because I noticed that i use my phone to kinda stop overthinking because I’m scared that if I’ll sit in silence or just so anything else then my mind will start another cycle. It’s pointless honestly because social media are also triggering me sometimes lol

@Anonymousgirl4 agree if anything try using this time to do other hobbies that’s what’s been helping me too like anything honestly I love listening to books, bedazzling, painting, journaling all of it!

@Firefly girl Oh I totally get you. My friend is bi and I started freaking out that she might like me and I had moment where I wanted to never see her again because I was so anxious

@Cat-Mom I should also add many women who identify as straight prefer lesbian erotica. Studies have shown that women are much more fluid in sexual expression. All of that’s to say, a woman may even find another more sexually exciting than her male partner without wanting to leave him. In short, there are lots of ways you can still be with a man even if the answer wasn’t you are 100% straight. (This isn’t a conversion thing I promise, sexuality is just complicated!)

@Cat-Mom Yeah I’ve heard about it before. I’m just really scared that I don’t actually want to be with a man and if a girl would flirt with me I will like it and if a man would I won’t feel anything. It’s stupid since I don’t know what will happen because I’ve never experienced anything like this but it’s kinda making me doubt even more. Idk

@Anonymousgirl4 I get it. But even if that was the case, so what? I’ve had girls flirt with me and it was exciting. Being excited by or curious to try something doesn’t necessarily mean you are the thing you fear!

@anca It does fr, I honestly didn’t expect this many replies😭 But it’s kind of nice to know that at least we are not alone

@ninkaninga Yeah, unfortunately i can relate

@Anonymousgirl4 Do u also feel like when u come across these videos you HAVE TO watch them? Like u cant skip them? To check and compare if u relate or not?

@ninkaninga Yeah, I am trying to skip some of them but I have the urge to watch it and compare it to my life to see if I for sure don’t relate it. It always ends up with anxiety or just me being worried because i’m starting to believe that I do relate to the video. I also find myself watching some videos over and over to prove myself that I feel neutral or restarting one video until I’ll watch it without feeling anything weird, even if my breath is like slightly faster I’m convinced it’s attraction.

@Anonymousgirl4 Ohhhhh how i relate to breathing part 🙏 like your heart drops

@ninkaninga Yeah. Tho I’m kind of stressed out lately because since I realized that I might have ocd it’s like I stopped having clear anxiety and this reactions for example that heart drop are not happening that often anymore. It’s making me believe that it was never ocd(I mean I wasn’t diagnosed so idk). Sometimes I get the urge to imagine scenario in my head that i’m with a girl to check my reaction and I was always getting anxiety etc, and lately all I get is I just like kinda furrow my brows and shake the thought away? Idk how to explain it but yeah and my mind is trying to tell me like „try to imagine it again but without being so against it” and I kinda do, and then I freak out because I didn’t feel any negative reaction. Idk if it’s only me but it’s honestly awful. Like idk what to think anymore

@Anonymousgirl4 I do the same. And im not diagnosed either. 🥺 i always test myself with those scenarios. And when i dont feel much anxiety then im like “does this mean i actually wouldn’t be so against it? or i secretly want that?”

@Elsielou Honestly I have no idea how mine started. I think I had a moment where I lost interest in relationships for a while and didn’t feel anything for men and I started overthinking if this means that I might be a lesbian. But I also feel numb to men rn. Like sure I can notice a man is attractive and be „attracted”? But idk if it is me being attracted or just simply noticing someone is good looking and trying to convince myself it’s attraction. Like I know that I don’t want to be in romantic relationship with a woman, but I’m scared that I might be physically attracted to them and I don’t want it to be.

@Anonymousgirl4 @anonymousgirl14 see mine started with rocd where I had a thought what if you don’t want too be with your partner and it broke my heart then I was just watching a film and a women was a lesbian and then I layed in bed that night and was like omg what if that’s me! And since then it’s taken all arousal away from me towards men and now I just feel like I look at women when I really don’t want too, It’s such a horrible thing to go through and I feel like my worlds just gone upside down. I wake up with worry I go to bed with the worry, and it feels so real but I no I don’t want a relationship with a woman?

@Elsielou It really is awful. I think the arousal might have been „taken away” because you’ve been checking and overthinking and this way you don’t experience feelings naturally but they are all under a microscope, so it’s harder to experience arousal or attraction when your thoughts are like „why don’t I feel anything?”. Of course idk if it’s the same in your case but I think it might explain why the feeling disappeared. Of course it’s just a maybe, idk if it’s a fact, I’m just guessing what could the cause be.

@Anonymousgirl4 I think our stories are very similar in different ways. We can’t just relax and overthinking constantly defiantly does take away the positive side of things, are you in therapy at all? X

@Elsielou Yeah, I recently went to a therapy because I was just done taking care of this by myself. It’s not anyone that specializes in ocd, I went to a regular therapist for now. I gotta get diagnosed first I think. I’ll be going on a second session in like two weeks, we’ll be talking more about ocd since the first session was also about yk overall my life. I’m just rly scared that it won’t be ocd after all.