- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I almost cried reading this. I unfortunately relate too much. I’m not as bad anymore because I’m medicated but there was a point where this is exactly how I felt. I just want you to know that you’re so much stronger than you think. It’s so fucking confusing and it’ll burn a hole through you if you let it. I almost let it do that to me. The only way I was able to escape was having a breaking point where I was sitting in the shower, feeling the water hitting me and screaming silently to myself saying, “so fucking what if I like girls?” That’s the moment when I felt the demons inside me hiss in fear a little. I felt powerful. Soon after I found out it was ocd. Then I decided I wasn’t going to let it hurt me anymore. So I started thinking, you know what, it’s not a bad thing if I like girls. And I’ve come to the conclusion after many years of breaking out of it that I’m VERY straight. Ask my boyfriend. ? But seriously. You’re going to be okay. If I can get out of it, so can you.
- Date posted
- 5y
This was so encouraging, thank you. And if I may ask, it's kind of a silly question, but how does your therapy works? You go to a psychiatrist and he just give you some meds or she/he also does therapy? Or you have to go to both a psychologist and a psychiatrist?
- Date posted
- 5y
Tbh reading this gave me a bit of hope. I can't tell anything to anybody nor can I avoid but it doesn't feel nice when girls touch me even by mistake.
- Date posted
- 5y
Same. I always have this pit feeling in my stomach. It's uncomfortable being touched or even seeing girls. I fear I would like it. It really feels real
- Date posted
- 5y
Me too! I never hug or touch other girls because of this
- Date posted
- 5y
@Jordyn ? When one of my friends touches me I usually like flip shit
- Date posted
- 5y
This very accurately describes how I feel on the daily as well. Just try to remember you ARE NOT struggling alone! ??
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel the same :(
- Date posted
- 5y
Right now my therapy is very inconsistent because I’m in college. I actually found out I had ocd through the internet while I was preforming google compulsions, and verified the diagnosis through a phone call with my therapist at the time (she was at home, I was at school). But I got my medication through my doctor for anxiety. It’s Zoloft, which treats ocd as well, so I didn’t have to change it. Not a silly question at all! But I’m still trying to find a good therapist. Therapy is a really difficult process especially in college.
- Date posted
- 5y
Same, this is how i feel too.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 15w
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
- Date posted
- 14w
Im only 20 and Ive been crying. I am not diagnosed with OCD yet but it lines up. I'm so scared its not, these physical sensations and urges are so horrible and I just wanna hide myself from this earth. It feels so real. I'd rather not feel any arousal than experience it, no matter if its something I like or not. I want to be free from this hell.
- Date posted
- 12w
just crying cause i feel like im never going to recover and just have to be lesbian, even tho i love my boyfriend so much. thoughts don’t even give me anxiety anymore idk what to do, im just so done, feel like it’s all real and that i want it(when i dont). any tips or anything, idk how to keep going
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