Lina
- Date posted
- 5y ago
JordeanJordean
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I almost cried reading this. I unfortunately relate too much. I’m not as bad anymore because I’m medicated but there was a point where this is exactly how I felt. I just want you to know that you’re so much stronger than you think. It’s so fucking confusing and it’ll burn a hole through you if you let it. I almost let it do that to me. The only way I was able to escape was having a breaking point where I was sitting in the shower, feeling the water hitting me and screaming silently to myself saying, “so fucking what if I like girls?” That’s the moment when I felt the demons inside me hiss in fear a little. I felt powerful. Soon after I found out it was ocd. Then I decided I wasn’t going to let it hurt me anymore. So I started thinking, you know what, it’s not a bad thing if I like girls. And I’ve come to the conclusion after many years of breaking out of it that I’m VERY straight. Ask my boyfriend. ? But seriously. You’re going to be okay. If I can get out of it, so can you.
LavanderLavander
- Date posted
- 5y ago
This was so encouraging, thank you. And if I may ask, it's kind of a silly question, but how does your therapy works? You go to a psychiatrist and he just give you some meds or she/he also does therapy? Or you have to go to both a psychologist and a psychiatrist?
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Tbh reading this gave me a bit of hope. I can't tell anything to anybody nor can I avoid but it doesn't feel nice when girls touch me even by mistake.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Same. I always have this pit feeling in my stomach. It's uncomfortable being touched or even seeing girls. I fear I would like it. It really feels real
JordeanJordean
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Me too! I never hug or touch other girls because of this
JordeanJordean
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@Jordyn ? When one of my friends touches me I usually like flip shit
TwylerGuy12TwylerGuy12
- Date posted
- 5y ago
This very accurately describes how I feel on the daily as well. Just try to remember you ARE NOT struggling alone! ??
LavanderLavander
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I feel the same :(
JordeanJordean
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Right now my therapy is very inconsistent because I’m in college. I actually found out I had ocd through the internet while I was preforming google compulsions, and verified the diagnosis through a phone call with my therapist at the time (she was at home, I was at school). But I got my medication through my doctor for anxiety. It’s Zoloft, which treats ocd as well, so I didn’t have to change it. Not a silly question at all! But I’m still trying to find a good therapist. Therapy is a really difficult process especially in college.
elleeenelleeen
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Same, this is how i feel too.
Related posts
FairyWithaKnife
- Date posted
- 25w ago
I just don't know
I've gotten diagnosed with OCD and I'm in therapy. But I'm worried that I don't have OCD/that I got misdiagnosed. And recently I'm worried that I've just gotten myself into a habit of thinking of dirty minded or just plain old terrible things after I see/hear certain things because I feel like I need to prove I have OCD or else I'm faking(sometimes this goes away). Or that I'm just mimicking symptoms of ocd to cope with real problems I may have and that im just really deep into denial. I don't know...I'm just so tired. I mean, what if I really am what I think I am and this is my brains only way of coping? I don't even really feel anything towards most of the thoughts anymore either I just know they go against my values and I don't want them. I don't know if that's because I'm so mentally exhausted, I just don't care, or that the thoughts are true and I'm comfortable with them.
Anxiousaddie
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 17w ago
Please help- so-ocd
I did an erp and I was thinking over and over again “I want to be with girls I just don’t want others to find out” and then it felt like a moment of yeah that is what I want. It felt really real I can’t believe it’s not. I wasn’t anxious about it. It felt completely like me and even when I tried to deny it like it was a true realization and that I wanted it to be true. I can’t do this. What do I do!!! Erp suggestions?
allyocd
- Date posted
- 17w ago
Idk if I can do this anymore
It feels like I’m lying to myself constantly and everyone. There feels like there is a weight on my heart from the moment I wake up till I go to sleep. I don’t want to be gay. Idk why it doesn’t register. Now everyone I see I have to see if I’m attracted to them. I see good looking men and I feel like I’m lying to myself that they are good looking, I see women and I see if im attracted to them. I look at everyone and I feel jealous. I want my fucking life back. But now my OCD (if this is even OCD) is telling me I was never happy and I was always suppressing my feelings of being gay. Why is this happening? Can OCD do this? I can’t enjoy anything ever.
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