How do I stop a victim mindset in a relationship?

I’m looking for some advice on how I can be a better partner and stop letting little things turn into arguments. My boyfriend is a nurse who works nights, so he only gets three days off a week. I’ve realized that I put SO much pressure on those three days. In my head, I feel like I need to see him all three days and everything needs to go perfectly because that’s our time together. If plans change, something doesn’t go how I pictured it, or he wants to do something else for part of that time, I get upset way more easily than I should. A recent example is that I told him I feel like he doesn’t put enough effort into planning dates because I’m usually the one who plans everything. But after thinking about it, I realized that I really don’t give him the opportunity to plan. I automatically assume he isn’t going to, so I make the plans myself before he even gets the chance. After I told him this, he actually canceled plans with his mom the next day because he wanted to plan a date for us, spend time with me, and show me that the idea I had in my head wasn’t true. When he told his mom about the situation, she basically thought it was ridiculous because we already spend every weekend together when he’s off. He also asked some of his female coworkers for advice because he wanted their perspective on how he could approach the situation better and make me happy. They pretty much agreed that my thinking was a little ridiculous considering how much time we already spend together. Now, instead of just accepting that they have a different perspective, I’ve gone down this rabbit hole of thinking his mom doesn’t like me, his coworkers think I’m ridiculous, and everyone is judging me. I know that’s not necessarily reality, but my brain immediately goes there. I also don’t understand why I have such a hard time with the idea of not seeing him for one of his days off or why I get upset if he wants to spend a night playing video games with his friends instead of spending the night with me. I KNOW logically that he deserves time for himself, his friends, and his family. I don’t want him to feel like all three of his days off automatically belong to me just because we’re in a relationship. I really do want to work on this because I love him and I don’t want to keep creating arguments over small things or expectations that I’ve created in my own head. I want to learn how to be more flexible, stop taking changes in plans personally, give him space without seeing it as rejection, and stop assuming the worst. Has anyone else struggled with this in their relationship? How did you learn to be okay with your partner having their own time without feeling hurt or rejected? And how do you stop yourself from reacting when something doesn’t go the way you pictured it in your head?