ROCD

Ugh. In a group with ppl we don’t know someone made a comment about “keeping your girls close so they know they r taken” or whatever. And I didn’t stay close to my partner I guess I didn’t want to. And I guess when my partner hugged me I felt like not being hugged. What is wrong with me. The thoughts of am I in wrong relationship, am I not into my partner are rolling. And then I see everyday stuff online about how ocd isn’t true stuff and how do u differentiate between ocd and real stuff. My ROCD thrives off of real stuff and that’s the majority of mine. It gives me so much distress seeing these and it makes me think I don’t even have OCD….. another thing is I don’t want it to be like this with my partner I want to be obsessed or whatever and this thought makes me feel sick. I want my partner and I don’t wanna start doubting that too Maybe my ROCD is just spiraling? I’m hoping that in the wise words of my old therapist that “it’s an ocd problem, not a relationship problem” so not a relational issue

unicorn11ice...

Date posted: Yesterday

I feel this exact way. I kinda feel like I'm always starting problems out of nothing just because of my obsession of wanting my relationship to be perfect. My mind always keeps racing about if my relationship is good or not, and I always go back and forth between loving and hating. Something that has been helping me a little bit recently with this is trying to not be bothered by any of the thoughts that come related to my relationship.

Mk3

Date posted: Yesterday

@unicorn11icecream Yes. My obsession is more related to the fear of losing my partner and it’s just kinda an obsession over my relationship in general I think bc I care so much. I’m going to try what you’re doing. Thank you:) but yeah maybe thoughts/feelings/actions I’m going to try not to be bothered if related to my relationship!! I also just constantly worry about my feelings and if they are enough or right or wrong or whatever. So I’m going to use your advice! Even though my stuff is all real/true idk

Mk3

Date posted: Yesterday

@unicorn11icecream ^^is that kinda what u do? Oh and the guilt is terrible too

unicorn11ice...

Date posted: Yesterday

@Mk3 - Yes!! You described it perfectly, I feel completely that way too. I always feel like I care more, or that my partner doesn't care as much as id want. For me, this always leads to obsessive thinking daily if I don't change my mindset. I constantly wonder if this is just something I've made up in my head or something bigger that's actually going on. I too also think about if my feelings are right or not and its made me honestly go crazy overthinking about it. I feel like a lot of my thoughts about my relationship appear out of nowhere and turn into something so different than what is actually true. Does your partner know you struggle with OCD? Have you ever told them your worries and how you feel?

Mk3

Date posted: 19h

@unicorn11icecream I feel like my stuff is mostly real stuff that my ROCD latches onto idek. But then in the middle of the night I randomly got a thought and feeling of wanting to break up with my partner or feeling like what am I doing or that we are just co existing basically and it was out of nowhere. Just like questioning whether or not we should stay together. I don’t even know if I got anxiety at the time but I’m now freaking out. This is awful. And my partner knows I struggle with ROCD but no details!

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