- Date posted
- Yesterday
Just a vent
I want to get diagnosed and start treatment soon for my ocd. I have so many concerning intrusive thoughts and themes, as well as really bad paranoia or at times delusional thinking, like I’ll be half convinced I’m not real, or that I died, but I KNOW that’s irrational and that I am being delusional, but I still feel and partially believe that thought, same with the fear that I’m being watched through cameras, windows, etc. I’ve been rehearsing to myself how I could explain things to a therapist but the more I do, the crazier I sound and I’m worried that I would explain things to psychiatrist wrong and be misunderstood or misdiagnosed. I know that these themes are common for a lot of people, and that the words I’m using may not be the best or correct way to describe these thoughts. I just want someone to fix me, I was doing so well and it’s just gotten so bad again. I haven’t been this bad in a really long time and I really think now I need psychiatric intervention. I’m so scared and confused and disgusted with myself. It doesn’t help that my fyp is full of the topics related to my ocd, and people are only contributing to ocd stigma by some of the things they are commenting and then how people are responding and it’s only sending me further down the spiral. I just need it to stop.