Am I being dramatic?

I struggle with relationship ocd as is, but I just want to know if I’m being dramatic or if this seriously is bad. For one, we’ve been together for almost two years but he rarely remembers our monthly anniversary’s but I try not to think too much into that because maybe it isn’t a huge deal? I’ve forgotten once but the one time I did I had something very serious going on, but I still felt horrible. He doesn’t really seem interested in anything I ever say like I’ll be excited about something and he’ll just say “nice” or “oh” it’s always oh. Whenever something is bothering him, completely unrelated to me, he takes it out on me, for an example, someone he used to be with I guess contacted him or something and he got super mad at ME?? He went on and on about how he wasn’t sure if I even loved him and accused me of lots of things and then told me he needed a break from me, which ofc I said was ok then out of no where he asked to go on a date and never apologized, and he continues to do it over and over again, and ever since the very first time I’m always too scared to say much of anything to him because I’m scared he’ll just immediately end things with me. I’m getting to a point where I feel alone and even in a relationship and it’s very hard.

Taylor F.

Date posted: 16h

Hi! If you’re already feeling alone in this relationship - whats the difference in them physically not there? His presence seems to be more hurtful than helpful anyways. From your post it seems like he is only interested in you at his convenience and that’s not fair. People forget things like anniversaries and whatnot - monthly is kind of a lot - we’re human. But the seemingly lack of investment is a huge red flag. I don’t think you’re being dramatic as far as his behavior and actions towards you.

sweetkay

Date posted: 16h

@Taylor F. Yeah :( even when we do hang out h always is distant and seemingly upset and try to check on him and he just says he’s fine

sick&tired

Date posted: 10h

I just wanted to say that walking on eggshells as you’ve described is NOT normal. Him taking his anger out on you is NOT normal. Someone who can’t take accountability or communicate with respect is NOT a healthy partner. I urge everyone to please learn about healthy relationships and understand how abuse works. You are being mistreated. I am not a professional, but this definitely sounds like manipulation/abuse. And I say this with love and concern as someone who has been abused, accused of something I didn’t do, etc. I always forgive and forgive and convince myself that it’s okay, but it never was. I feel so sorry for my past self who stayed in these relationships. And unfortunately the more you (the general “you”, I’m not talking about you specifically) forgive someone for their disrespect and abuse, the other person learns that they can do whatever they want and get away with it because you never leave them — so the mistreatment will only continue or get even worse (I would like to clarify that abuse is NEVER the victim’s fault, I’m just stating how disgusting the abusers are). Please don’t ever tolerate abuse and mistreatment. Set high standards, enforce boundaries, and love yourself more than the other person. I’m telling you that I have regretted not leaving earlier every single time. I really think you should seek therapy if you haven’t already to understand yourself better. For example, part of what traps me in these situations is OCD, which makes me doubt my reality and makes me question if I’m exaggerating, or makes me feel like I’m a bad person that doesn’t deserve any better. I also am neurodivergent and struggle with people pleasing and confrontation. I see that you are young and I only wish I learned this stuff back then. Please love and protect yourself. Build a life that is so full and rich and interesting, so you don’t depend on another person. Pursue your hobbies, build like-minded community, read/paint/draw/exercise — whatever speaks to you! I wish you all the best. And here’s a resource about healthy relationships- https://www.loveisrespect.org/ 💕

sweetkay

Date posted: 10h

So I tried talking to him, I voiced my problems very politely and used a lot of “I feel” sentences so it didn’t seem like acusactions and he basically turned the entire thing around on me.. he told me that I was all all over his love and when I asked what made him feel this way, instead of saying that he went on about his home issues and what not and then said that he felt that way because of everything I do

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