I think I'm a horrible friend but don't realize

My best friend has brought up to me a few times now that sometimes they feel like I don't care about them or don't reciprocate as much curiosity/affection in our friendship. The first time they told me this I understood feeling like this. I'm generally a more reserved person who has a hard time expressing myself. I apologized obviously and since then I feel like I've been more attuned to their needs in the friendship. I tell them I love them, miss them, ask questions about their day and what they're doing, etc. Which is why it surprised me a few weeks ago when they brought up the same thing. I felt confused because I'd felt engaged with them, yet they said I never stick to my word and our friendship was very one-sided. I felt like maybe I just didn't realize and so once more I've been trying very hard to show that I love them and express that through my words and questions. I feel like they always show the same amount of interest in me, if sometimes less enthusiastic than I am toward them. Yesterday they posted some stuff on their Instagram story that I immediately knew was about me. It was right after I started texting them once I got off of work. They reposted something about wishing someone would be more curious about their life. Then right after that they said on their story something along the lines of "Every time I think about it I don't deserve this kind of treatment but I keep thinking there's another chance." I just feel like an awful person because I really try but it seems like it will never be enough. I love them so much and don't want to lose them but I think I'm just a bad friend.

sick&tired

Date posted: 17h

Have you tried being straightforward and saying “hey I really appreciated you letting me know how you feel because I value your friendship. I’ve tried to be more present by doing “x, y, and z” because I genuinely care about you and whats going on in your life. Is there something you’d like me to do differently? Do you mind being more specific about how you’d like me to show up? Please explain how I’m not sticking to my word and making you feel that our friendship is one-sided.” I don’t know this person and I’m just going off your post, but honestly something sounds off. See what kind of feedback you get, but it’s possible that you’re being manipulated somehow. Because if you’ve made concrete changes as you say you have and they are not even recognizing them, that makes me a bit skeptical. Yes, it could be a misunderstanding about what they’re requesting from you. But in that case, they should be able to provide specific feedback about what they’d like you to do differently. Also please remember that no friend can meet ALL of their needs — that’s not a healthy or realistic expectation. And idk if that instagram story was about you but if so, that seems passive aggressive. Please protect yourself. Some people are not meant to stay in our lives and sometimes we don’t realize it. Please know your worth. You sound like a genuine and caring person to me. Good luck friend. 🙏🏽

Ben84

Date posted: 17h

Sick & tired had a good response. I would also add you may be very introverted like me. Learning about introversion and it's strengths and weaknesses might be helpful too.

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