SOOCD

I wanna be with my boyfriend. But I keep thinking I'm a lesbian. I know I prefer men but I've thoughts about being with women that i sometimes even like and it scares me. I know I'm probably bi and I know I've been attracted to men all my life and that I've a preference for men. But I feel numb, disconnected and like a liar..cheater because I keep thinking I wanna get intimate with everyone and feelings for everyone (even friends which makes me feel like I'm cheating for even talking to them) Has someone dealt with this before?

Anonymous

Date posted: 13h

Probably not even bi. Just OCD pushing thoughts that are against your beliefs and you reacting to them. Sticky thoughts are scary.

lizisdizzy

Date posted: 13h

@Anonymous I've thought this too honestly. I know I always wanted a relationship with a man and I was crushing 3 years on him before we started dating. Now I feel like I'm missing out..? More attracted to women because I'm numb and sometimes not attracted to him? It's just so weird.

Anonymous

Date posted: 13h

@lizisdizzy Yeah. OCD can make things feel real. The body responses that are false and the thoughts that come. I'm sorry that you feel that way.

lizisdizzy

Date posted: 13h

@Anonymous thank you for replying to me tho. i really appreciate it a lot. i often forget the truth is that it feels like reality.. the thinking i like it and wanna think about it etc. and that im living a lie just bothers me. it's like i wanna solve it even tho there's nothing to solve and it gets worse when it doesn't make me feel anxious anymore.. but in reality me thinking I'm attracted to every single female friend I've is not logical but OCD.

Anonymous

Date posted: 12h

@lizisdizzy Yeah even lesbians don't like every single woman they see. That's just what your brain thinks a lesbian would feel. Pay them no mind, give em a shrug and a meh because those thoughts are just junk.

AutumnCandle

Date posted: 12h

Hi! This is a form of ocd I deal with often. I’m a lesbian but in the past I’ve had obsessive thoughts of possibly liking men in a sexual manner. I drove myself crazy with labels and whatnot!! It’s not fun at all. I think what helped me was just telling myself “ I am who I am. Regardless of who I’m attracted to”. Also trusting in my actual attraction. I can force myself to like men all I want.. but there is nothing like falling for a woman!! Absolutely nothing. Trusting my own experiences helped me a lot:) You’re not alone

lizisdizzy

Date posted: 11h

@AutumnCandle thank you so much for sharing your experience <3

Anonymous

Date posted: 12h

It’s ocd, the fact that you value your relationship with your bf says it all. OCD tends to attack the things we care about. Practice ERP, it’s going to be scary but it will help you get your life back and be happy with your relationship. Remember OCD is a doubting disorder and it will never be satisfied. It doesn’t change or define who you are.

lizisdizzy

Date posted: 11h

@Anonymous thank you so much for your support! I appreciate it!

Penguin23

Date posted: 11h

Hi! I went through the same exact thing a few years ago when I started college. It was super distressing!!! That was one of the first reasons to prompt me to go to therapy for ocd. If you’re not in ocd therapy yet, I recommend it! It saved my life :)

lizisdizzy

Date posted: 11h

@Penguin23 thank you so much! glad you're doing better!:)

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond