Someone please respond

I feel like I deserve hell for this. I told a recent ex of mine that I would stop going out with other guys and etc. In hopes we could make it work.. but I saw a different ex at work, and for some reason felt kind of way, so I gave him a little bit of like a look to see if he would reciprocate the look back. I genuinely feel like I committed a war crime.. like nothing I do will make me not feel guilty. Me and the ex from the beginning are currently not in contact but I agree to not do anything with any other guy. I literally can’t stop feeling bad. It’s been over 24 hours. I feel like I have to confess that to him. What do I do? I know it was just a look, but it meant something. I’m not going to be in contact with the recent ex for a while, but I feel like once I am, I’ll have to tell him and he’ll be extremely upset.

Anonymous

Date posted: 12h

You didn’t do anything with them. Our thoughts are different than actions. You’re not dating your ex either so there’s no cheating at all

WildRogue

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 12h

You don’t need to tell him anything at all , you guys aren’t dating . You’re single which means you can do what you want , he’s single as well so he can do the same thing that you did with someone at any point and that’s ok. It’s ok for both of you to do that of anything else with another person . In the future if you guys ever get back together then it’s a fresh start . But right now you guys are free to do anything , putting pressure on yourself won’t benefit you at all

bsquiggled

Date posted: 11h

@WildRogue I totally agree, the issue is that I told him I wouldn’t do any of that and he’s basically depending on that which I think it’s unfair but I made a promise I guess? Idk I know I wont pursue anyone else but it felt like I did

Anonymous

Date posted: 12h

Hi! Firstly, I’m so sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. Let me just say, the fact that you are struggling with this tells me that you are a good person and that you care about other people. You are just human and you did a human thing. I don’t think you (or anyone) should have to feel you need to cut yourself off from people you find attractive just because you are in a relationship. You can look at whoever you want to and that is your business (and no one else’s). Being faithful to someone does not mean killing off any desire that does not align with your partner’s needs. Given that you are on this forum, I presume you are feeling a strong compulsion to confess. I assure you, that is all it is, an OCD driven compulsion.

bsquiggled

Date posted: 12h

@Anonymous This makes total sense but I was looking at him hoping he’d reciprocate the look which is the loop :/// idk why I wanted him to feel the same way but I also couldn’t care less it’s weird

WildRogue

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 11h

But to help with the loop just tell yourself that right now you’re not talking to him so right now I don’t need to think about this and I’ll move on with my life. I’ll get back to this thought if I ever get in contact with him again . If that happens there’s a really high chance that you’ll see this situation completely different and might not even see it as a big deal anymore

Beebo !

Date posted: 10h

You’re allowed to have your own private thoughts. No one is judging you. It’s only you. Your thoughts are your own.

bsquiggled

Date posted: 10h

@Beebo ! But it’s the action, I gave him a look on purpose :/ I feel like I betrayed him going against my word

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