Ocd trying to trick me

Usually i am a very empathetic person, when i was younger i’d always cry when my siblings got hurt or when they were upset and i am so terrified of physically hurting people, i never want to cause someone pain because why would i want someone to feel that if i don’t want to feel that for myself. but recently i have been thinking what if i don’t actually care for other people and their feelings or whether they feel pain or not, and it scares me because it makes my harm ocd worse and thats not me. i want to go back to my normal mindset it feels like my thoughts are consuming me

Col3416

Date posted: Yesterday

Okay I think I kinda understand what ur trying to say but forgive me if I don’t. But personally I think that it’s just ur ocd and intrusive thinking trying to tell u that u don’t actually care, however if u didn’t actually care these thoughts wouldn’t even cross ur mind at all so u obviously care. Don’t stress and give ur self some grace. It will All workout

slw06

Date posted: Yesterday

@Col3416 i do agree with you, thank you!

alyssa90

Date posted: Yesterday

Yes this is ocd tricks,I also have harm ocd I have been struggling lately. My compulsion is all day I tell myself I love my family, kids, people in a way to convince myself I don’t want these intrusive thoughts, and when I say all day I really mean it. For your situation the ocd is trying to get you scared so you think about it all day.

alyssa90

Date posted: Yesterday

I should add to my post to show you you’re not alone, last night I was googling how to be a better person and how to value other people’s lives, and what makes a good person good, definitely was a compulsion. It also feels like at least for me the more compulsions I do like reassure myself then the compulsion overtime loses its power to reassure me.

FloW

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21h

I know how you feel. I am incredibly empathetic almost too much so but sometimes I don’t feel anything. This can be ocd tricking you because you care so much or compassion fatigue. You could be caring too much that it is overwhelming so you shut down. The best thing to do is to take care of yourself and practice response prevention regarding this. Maybe you care maybe you don’t.

slw06

Date posted: 21h

@FloW i know i do still care but its my intrusive thoughts making me think i dont, i am a nail tech and whenever i make the slightest accident like if i touched their skin slightly with the drill my heart drops and i instantly apologise and they reassure me that it didnt hurt, some of my clients have also mentioned about how gentle i am which does make me feel better. my partner has also joked around and told me to slap him in the face and i refused to but then i started thinking “did i feel an urge to do it?” it bothers me so much

FloW

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21h

@slw06 Yea that must be really difficult especially with your job. You just have to believe when people tell you you didn’t hurt them. It seems like you would never purposely want to hurt someone so it is absolutely ocd. Checking if you did feel an urge is a compulsion and the more you can sit with the uncertainty without checking the better it will get. I think that exposures with this can really help. For example just slapping you partner super gently or saying you are going to slap him and sit with all of the thoughts that come up. Ocd is ego-dystonic so it literally goes against your core character and that is why it is so distressing. It will get better I promise and I bet being a nail tech is a lot of fun when ocd isn’t interfering

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