ROCD, long post, pls help

So I recently got reacquainted with an old friend from high school. When we went to school together, we weren't the absolute closest but I was always very fond of him. I was really struggling with covid related illnesses and depression at the time and have always struggled with maintaining friendships, so I wasn't really all that close to anyone. However, out of everyone that I was friends with, I got along with him the most / he was my favorite person to talk to. Anyways, we started talking again, and it was all very easy. We pretty much fell into the same rhythm all over again. I'm worried about two different things. The first thing, before we started talking again, I was really convinced I had / would get a crush on him based on how he treated me in high school. It's not that I had a crush on a teenage version of him, but rather that I was more inclined to get a crush on him based on reflecting on things he did for me during our time in high school / imagined he was still just as kind as then but now also a mature adult. Back then, he threw me a surprise birthday party with my favorite foods, drew me, comforted me when teachers at the school made racist remarks, etc. I took all these memories and projected them onto an idealized adult version of him. Basically, I got a "crush" on an idea of him if that makes sense. I dont even know if I would fully consider it a crush; it felt more like I was expecting to get a crush on him if we reconnected. Anyway, now I'm worried I'm a weirdo and am actually just pretending that I didn't have a crush on teenage him as an adult. It feels extra worrisome because as far as I can remember I never felt romantically interested in him back in school. Again, I dont really think I had a crush on teenage him, I just created this idea of an older version of him based on the information I had, but Im still worried that I was somehow being weird. The second thing Im worried about is that Im pretty sure I actually ended up developing a real crush on him, and I can't tell if its because I was expecting to all those months ago. We've been talking online for a couple months now, not super often but just every now and then. A week ago, he invited me out to go to the local art museum since he'd been wanting to go and I had never been. I should clarify, prior to this outing, I had pretty much shut down any expectations about developing a crush on him and did not have one at the time. I got it in my head that I only knew this current version if him so well and any "crush" would just be an idealized version of him I was fabricating and nothing real. Anyways, we spend pretty much the whole day together, and it was genuinely the most fun I've had in ages. We joked a lot and just got on really well. I really can't stress how nice of a time I had. The whole time I was with him, I wasn't really all that worried about crushing on him or anything. I was just focused on the hang out. While we're together, Im learning a lot about his current life and interests and vice versa. He's very understanding of my OCD and just overall very kind and super funny. Again, Im not really crushing on him at this point. Then we get to my place in the evening, and he drops me off and heads back to his place. The next couple of days, Im riding the emotional high of being around someone who I truly feel myself around, but still not convinced Im crushing on him. We continue to text a bit, and he tells me he watched my favorite movie which made me really happy. It's around this point where the thoughts about liking him start popping up. I dismiss them at first cause Im convinced they're OCD related. Then today, as Im trying to take a nap, my mind drifts back to him. I was thinking about inviting him over later this week since my mom is making a traditional hispanic dish (hes half Mexican, but doesn't get to eat authentic hispanic food much since that side of his family lives far away). My brain starts running made up scenarios in my head. First its things like what if he thinks I like him and stuff like that and I just ignore it. Then, it starts running similar scenarios only this time it's what if he tries flirting with me. This is the part where I start to realize I actually have a bit of a crush on him because I start to feel a little happy at the idea. Also, when I tried dismissing the scenario by being like oh I'll just politely decline any advances, I felt bummed out because I didn't want him to think I wasn't interested. And thats when it fully dawned on me, that the singular outing and texting sessions we've had since then have already swayed me. Im not madly in love with him or anything. If I found out he was already seeing someone or just wasn't interested in me, I'd be alright and simply happy with being his friend. But I cannot deny there is definitely interest and I've just been trying to convince myself otherwise. So the thing Im worried about is that Im just projecting again and not actually interested him. I really feel like that one outing was enough to make me crush on him a bit, but again Im scared im being a weirdo. Also, Im now getting super in my head about how to approach the way I talk to him now. I do like him, but Im not planning on asking him out or flirting or anything. However, I feel like now Im just gonna start being awkward around him and its gonna ruin or friendship or something. I also have no idea what to do if he were to be the one to flirt with me. I really dont think he likes me, which is more than okay, but on the off chance he does, I wouldn't know how to handle that. I dont think Im in a place to be in a relationship with anyone because of the severity of my OCD, but there's this nagging part of my brain thats like what if he expresses interest and I tell him no and I miss my only opportunity to be with him. Compared to the crushes I've had in the past, none of them have ever been this intense or real if that makes sense. I used to be superficial when it came to dating cause I just wanted everyone to like me and I would throw myself at people. With him, it feels very different since its rooted in an actual friendship. This also the first crush I've had in years. I just dont know how to approach this situation. Any tips on how to handle ROCD would be great as this is my first experience with it.