Intrusive thought

That sounds incredibly distressing, and I’m sorry you’re going through it. Intrusive thoughts and images can be extremely vivid, and having a violent thought or image doesn't mean you wanted it or acted on it. Unfortunately, checking (e.g., calling the police or replaying the situation in you head) may give you relief for a little while but can keep the OCD cycle going. You don't have to "solve" the memory right now. You can try responding with something like, ‘Maybe it happened, maybe it didn't, I’m not going to investigate this feeling for certainty,’ and then let the anxiety be there without checking. That uncertainty can feel horrible at first, but learning to tolerate it rather than performing the compulsion is a core part of OCD treatment.

I really understand why that “maybe it happened” thought feels terrifying, especially when your brain is making the image feel so real. But you don’t need to solve that question today. The goal isn’t to get yourself to 100% certainty that it didn’t happen: OCD will keep moving the goalposts if you try. When “maybe it happened” comes up, you could try responding with something like, “Maybe, maybe not. I’m not going to investigate or work it out right now,” and then gently return your attention to whatever you were doing. You might still feel anxious, and that’s okay. The anxiety doesn’t need to disappear before you’re allowed to enjoy your day. I know that sounds incredibly difficult when your brain is screaming that this is an emergency. But resisting the checking/reassurance urge is actually the direction OCD treatment takes. ERP specifically teaches people to tolerate that uncertainty without doing the compulsions that OCD demands. You're dealing with a really horrible OCD loop. If this is consuming your days, I'd really encourage you to speak to an OCD therapist who works with ERP. You don't have to figure this out by yourself!