confusion

i’ve been in an episode for so long that i don’t even know what i’m worried about, at this point. i have general ideas of the themes of my worries, but whenever i try to think further about it, it just seems like my brain blanks and there’s just a wave of confusion. my brain isn’t letting go of nervousness even with the wave of confusion because i know that i still feel like i have things to worry about. i feel like i’m somehow annoying my therapist because i don’t even know what i think about everything and i have to identify this stuff in order to progress in ocd therapy. i feel like i’ve been exhausted after being in an almost 4 month long episode and i can’t think anymore but i still know that i have to. bad things keep happening and piling on to everything as well… don’t know how i’m going to get through this terrible time in my life.

Faeloria

Date posted: Yesterday

I totally relate to this. I've also been in an episode for quite a while. Based on my environment and goals at the time the themes shift and it becomes exhausting because the other theme becomes irrelevant until something triggers it again to pop up. All the overthinking affects my physically with fatigue eye-twitches, headaches, and more. I feel like I keep finding more things to ruminate and spiral over. I don't even know where to start without that becoming my new obsession.

anon7336474864

Date posted: Yesterday

man, my whole body twitches all the time! i wonder if that’s why. it’s been like this for years to the point where i even got a brain scan, but it came out completely normal. i also think that all of this tired out may be amplified for me because i have a fatigue disorder. i also keep finding things to spiral about and it seems never ending, i understand that. i have so many things that happened and i think they’re super important, but since there’s so many things, it tires me out and makes me confused. i can’t seem let it go because i still hold on to thinking it’s important. sometimes the inciting problem doesn’t even matter anymore because the problems that happened after the inciting problem were worse than what started it. hard to type out without me sounding crazy, lol

Communitycom...

Date posted: Yesterday

For me, I get so far into rumination I forget the original event and all that is left is the anxiety. I don't know if that is quite what your experiencing, but I know it is most likely from the flare up

anon7336474864

Date posted: Yesterday

for me i don’t completely forget the original event, but i do end up in a similar place that whenever i think about it i go “why does this matter, again? why is this important?” and all that’s there is confusion. but i can’t move on after that because i’m convinced it’s still important and too important to move on from without doing anything about it.

Faeloria

Date posted: 15h

Sometimes i get a mixture of both where I try to decipher what caused me to spiral because I forgot and then other times I can't forget because I'll just keep ruminating on it. Everything about it feels so important like my cells are alive screaming at me to fix this problem. The annoyance and guilt that comes after when you finally have something else to obsess over is draining because it feels like you can't trust yourself when you look at that situation with a new perspective. I'm not sure if that made sense.

anon7336474864

Date posted: 15h

i totally get it. sometimes it feels like you’re so close to the truth when in reality you’re going crazy but you sweear it means something. it’s so hard to suffer from

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