Recently diagnosed and having a hard time identifying the intrusive thought/feeling/etc. in my OCD cycles

Hi everyone, This is somewhat of a complex post, and I have a hard time putting my concerns into words, but I'll try my best. If anything is unclear, I'm happy to answer questions. I want to preface this by saying that I'm not looking for reassurance about whether or not I have OCD. I'm more so trying to understand what "intrusive" means and how to identify what the "intrusive" thing was within my cycles. I was recently diagnosed with OCD by my psychiatrist, and I've been working on OCD-related issues with my therapist. I'm also on a low dose of Lexapro, which has helped take the edge off a lot. One thing that makes me question my diagnosis is that I don't always relate to the way people describe intrusive thoughts. The thoughts that seem to start my obsessional cycles often don't feel intrusive to me. They can feel like completely normal thoughts or questions that I intentionally think about, but then I become extremely distressed by them and get stuck in an obsessive cycle. For example, I've had what I would consider genuinely intrusive thoughts before, such as: "What if I swerved my car into this pack of pedestrians?" Or "What if I threw this baby against the wall?" With those thoughts, I immediately dismiss them without issue. However, I don't actually become stuck on it (obsess). I don't start wondering what the thought means about me, I don't analyze whether I secretly want to do them, and I don't feel the need to perform compulsions to ease any distress. In other words, I handle those intrusive thoughts like a non-OCD person would. My actual obsessional cycles tend to be different. They usually involve something that is genuinely possible in my life. The thought feels like a normal question turns into an extremely important and distressing one. For example, a few months ago, after going through a breakup, I was watching a YouTube video of an ex-couple talking. The comments were all saying that the guy in the video was a manipulative person and possibly a narcissist. Reading those comments made me briefly reflect and then think, "Am I a narcissist?" This thought didn't feel like an intrusive thought in the way the baby/pedestrian thoughts do; rather, it felt like a legitimate question, but one that I spiraled over. I started Googling things like "signs of a narcissist" and "was I an abusive partner." The more I searched, the worse my anxiety became. Eventually I shut my laptop, and I started ruminating specific events from the relationship to try to get rid of the anxiety or find "certainty" that I wasn't a narcissist. This is where the compulsions started: I would mentally review/check my memories for things like whether I had shown affective empathy. I would go over specific interactions and try to determine what my intentions really were. I also confessed mistakes to my friends and told them I was worried that I was a narcissist, psychopath, sociopath, abuser, etc. They would look at me and say, "Megan, really? No, you're not a bad person." I also worried about what my ex thought of me, but I never had any courage to ask because I was too worried about their answer. That episode lasted around two weeks, and the same "bad person" concerns have re-emerged since then, although not with the same intensity since starting Lexapro. I understand that it's completely normal to reflect on whether you made mistakes in a relationship, but the way my head went to putting such an extreme label onto small mistakes is what wasn't normal. I know that obsessions are described as intrusive and unwanted thoughts, feelings, urges, or images. But I don't know what my actual "intrusive thought/feeling/urge/images" is in these cycles. Sometimes I feel like I don't even have one. My cycle is: normal(?) question, distress, rumination, memory checking, Googling, reassurance-seeking, confession, etc. I don't perform those compulsions in that order every time. I also don't go into an obsessive cycle every time I intentionally think about something. Sometimes I can think about an upsetting possibility and nothing happens. Other times, something acts as a trigger, or my brain suddenly reminds me of something I could have done wrong, and I get pulled into the cycle. This seems to happen particularly when I'm feeling happy or relaxed, almost as though my brain suddenly finds something to worry about. I've also experienced health anxiety and relationship anxiety in the past. The health anxiety happened from genuine health concerns and lasted for a few years. The relationship anxiety happened because of actual trauma and undealt insecurities. But, within these "themes", I had trouble dealing with uncertainty, which threw me into the cycles. The morality/bad-person theme is what has made me question my OCD diagnosis the most, because the thoughts involved feel more like distressing questions than stereotypical intrusive thoughts. TL;DR: My intrusive thoughts feel different from the thoughts that trigger my OCD cycles. Intrusive thoughts (like imagining hurting someone) feel unwanted, but I can dismiss them without obsessing. My actual OCD cycles seem to start with normal-feeling questions like “Was I manipulative?” or “Am I a bad person?” that cause intense distress and lead to rumination, checking, Googling, and reassurance-seeking. Can OCD work this way, where the initial thought doesn't feel intrusive, but the obsessive cycle develops from the distress and uncertainty surrounding it? Thank you for reading.