ROCD

I’ve been going through waves of this too! You’re not alone.

Seems normal to have cycles where sexual attraction to our partner runs hot and cold. On the other hand, seems very much like OCD to let this turn into fear and guilt. Many with ROCD might fall into the trap of obsessively selling read reassurance to the point of frustrating or even hurting our partners and our relationship. Don’t give in to it — most therapists would advise us to sit with the discomfort and uncertainty of the situation as this will actually decrease the power of our OCD over time. Trust they it will get better after a while. Hope that happens for you soon!

If you love and are honest with one another, then you will be able to work through whatever comes next - together. It’s not a relationship that is important, it’s the people. I wouldn’t recommend being in a relationship simply to avoid being on one’s own. You can probably judge your feelings for you partner with enough truth — you get to decide that. It’s the OCD that’s driving the constantly vacillating doubts, uncertainties, discomfort, worries, rumination, questioning, and mental obsessions — and that’s all false. Hope this helps. Be well.

The guilt seems unfounded. Let it go. For me, that false sense of guilt or shame is the gravitational pull that keeps me tethered to the OCD cycle. I understand what you’re therapist says about this being an OCD vs relationship problem, but in my experience, once I started sharing more about my OCD with my husband, he began to better understand and support me when things begin to spiral. I the trick is to do this without seeking or relying upon reassurance. But, a problem shared can be a problem cut in half!