Starting School and Managing OCD

Good afternoon folks! I wanted to make a post to talk about the difficulties of processing new information, new people, and new places while still battling OCD. My story: I’ve had OCD since I was a small child. I can remember the fear of the thoughts I had, even now. As a kid, I didn’t know what was happening to me… which is a common theme that trickled into my adulthood before I was diagnosed with OCD. I spent a lot of time in childhood thinking about death or causing accidental harm, both emotionally and physically, to those around me and myself. As I got older, my OCD got smarter. It learned everything that made me tick. It learned its way into my thought patterns and became a part of daily life. Since I went undiagnosed for so long, I really did think that there was just something wrong with me. The way I processed information, the way I interacted with others, all of the tension and feelings of urgency consuming me… these things took a toll on my ability to socialize and put myself into the world as a functioning member of society. I found myself leaving social interactions and feeling as if I needed to double check, and triple check, over and over and over again to make sure that I hadn’t said something weird, or that I hadn’t offended anyone. My OCD diagnosis has changed my life. Upon being diagnosed as a young adult, I realized I didn’t know a lot about myself and my disorder and how those two things collide. After stating therapy, I began to dig deeper into the different subtypes of OCD, and somehow found maps to my brain that I didn’t even know existed, nor did I realize others experienced what I was experiencing! Now that I’ve told you how I came to be here, let’s acknowledge this fact. OCD is extremely difficult to manage, especially when it goes unchecked for so long. Starting ERP is just the beginning, but putting in the work yourself matters! School has now begun for a lot of folks, including myself. Now that I understand my triggers and themes, I have been able to combat intrusive thoughts about starting school. The funny thing is though; OCD will always try to find a way to get to you, even when you squash your biggest theme. School was a huge issue for me because of all the things I couldn’t be certain about. I actually dropped out last year because of my OCD. Now I’m starting fresh and excited! And what does OCD do? It trickles down into my other themes since it can no longer get to me about school. This has definitely felt like a set back in some ways, however it’s important to acknowledge growth and progress. I know I have made major progress. In times like this, when OCD tries to fight back, remember how far you’ve come from how big it was before, and remember that you don’t have control of your thoughts, but you do control your response to them. Good luck to everyone starting school with their OCD blazing, and don’t let it knock you down! The excitement and anxiety of new experiences is what makes us human and connects us to one another. NO AMOUNT OF ANALYSIS WILL GIVE YOU 100% CERTAINTY. Take it one day at a time. Be proud of yourself, because what you’re dealing with is one hell of a fight!