Support needed

can't speak to much 'cause I still have this p.o.s. condition, but some things he can proactively try: - Delay rumination (although this can become a problem on its own because in a way it keeps the habit of delaying a daily thing) - Get to the Core Fears - Stop drinking all caffeine, only do decaf - For anxiety, try magnesium glycinate and vitamin B. This calmed down my nervous system but it didn't stop the OCD - Ban rumination - Recognize "oh this is probably an OCD thing going on right now." Just knowing that gives perspective, even if the theme is something that he feels he *needs* to do *right now.* Even if something is an issue or dilemma, even if something is super scary, even if something is triggering, there is NO MANDATE that says we have to FREAK OUT about it. We can choose how to response, we can choose to try to calm our nervous system down and "fight or flight" response. You have more control over these things than you realize. In my opinion, it's not rocket science, OCD begins and is continued by an addiction (to certainty), fueld by fear and doubt. But in the end, it's still an addiction. We need to proactively do things to stop fueling and propagating the addiction. Good luck and he should realize he's not alone in this hell!

honestly as hard as it sounds because you clearly care so much about him and want him to know everything is okay it is best to not reassure him, if i was my partner i honestly don’t know what i’d do to help me except to try understand and hear me out without reassurance which i’m sure you are doing your best for your partner, ocd is the doubt disorder and us people with ocd need to be 100% certain which is impossible to actually do. you are doing amazing and i know your partner is extremely grateful to have you even if he has having a hard time expressing that because of his ocd🩷 (i’m not sure if you also have ocd but if not i hope this helps you a bit)

As someone with ocd who has also dated someone with ocd, I know that it's super hard. One thing I had to accept is that we can't control our partner's treatment. Ultimately they need to arrive at and actively choose solutions for themselves, and as much as we want to fix it for them or control the outcome or save them (if your ocd is anything like mine), we need to give them the space to gain confidence in their own ability to get better and handle their fears. Like others have said, avoid reassurance for sure and try not to over-accomodate or worry over them if you can (even though it's tough). One thing I like to tell myself and others is that we're stronger than our fears and our compulsions. Believing that and putting it into action can be a game-changer, without telling ourselves everything will be ok or the fears won't happen

I do have ocd which makes it all more difficult, it makes me worried what if we break up or what if I can’t cope with it. I also have AuDHD so I struggle to manage emotion as it is. It has been going 2 years now and I’ve not known it to last this long so just feel scary