Successfully disengaged!! 🩷

@Dannyr Don’t be so hard on yourself! ROCD is actually the theme I’m talking about, and it’s not easy. I’ve indulged it for years and years, so the tracks in my brain are pretty deep… but any time is a good time to stop, and even putting off a compulsion for five minutes starts teaching your brain to feel safe. You can do it!!!!!

@sveliza821 I know, my memory is a little bad though too, I know all the techniques I’m supposed to use but it’s the issue of remembering that it’s OCD, every time I feel my relationship is threatened I just go straight to checking, and usually it’s something like location to start with, which is never gonna tell me any answers even if she’s still at home. so I always struggle to stop myself before I start checking, and once I’ve started checking, it’s already too far gone, I only snap out of it when I realised I’ve created an argument for no reason or when the panic and fear is over, which is usually after I’ve gone through her phone and honestly, I’ve only just noticed that I do this but I check the house for clues when I’m home too. I sound so pathetic but she’s so flawlessly beautiful and when we argue all I can think about is her running away with somebody else, because I know how easy it is for her to get attention.

@Dannyr You don’t sound pathetic. I completely understand. Are you on any treatment plan/medication for your ocd at the moment? I couldn’t do what I do without my meds. My symptoms aren’t gone but they’re manageable and I can function, when before this I’d just cry all day.

@sveliza821 I’ve tried going to my GP, they told me, this sounds like OCD but unfortunately we can’t offer any OCD diagnosis or treatment as nobody in my area specialises in OCD. So I’m at the point where I’ve not been diagnosed but it’s obvious I have OCD, and I don’t know what to do for treatment as the only support my GP has offered is talking therapy, I then rang the talking therapy and explained everything, they also described my symptoms as OCD and told me their therapy also doesn’t specialise in OCD so they can only offer services that figure out the reason I get anxious… which I’ve already figured out… so I don’t know what I can do besides this app, which I also can’t afford the therapy for 😂. I’m just trying to read everyone’s advice on this app to keep it all fresh in my memory, and I have other themes of OCD which are more manageable, but when it comes to my relationship I genuinely freak out when I get intrusive thoughts, and sadly I never seem to get my head in the right place to be ready for the thoughts.