Isolation

Still haven’t heard from the person who said I was her “sister” and who always told me she loved me for almost three weeks now. We used to talk or text every day with her consuming too much of my time some days. Now, ever since she got into a relationship, if she’s still in one..I have no idea what’s happening in her life anymore… no contact whatsoever. I feel dumped. What makes this so hard is I have no immediate family, so this leads me to believe that no one really cares much about me. I feel completely alone in this world. I am anxious and hurting. I truly know that no one cares much for me. I’m no one’s family anymore. My parents are gone and I have no siblings. During a mini trip recently, she was on the phone w her new love while on vacation w a group of us. She did this frequently and even stood next to one of the group, leaving her just standing there while she was on the phone. I talked to her about it and asked her to please limit her phone usage and that I wanted quality time w my friend. A few years ago, our friendship ended when she was once again constantly on the phone. To be left w no contact out of the blue is heartless and unforgivable. I’m supposed to see her at a mutual friends gathering early in September and I can’t stand the sight of her at this point. I feel uncared about and like I’m disposable by anyone.

sick&tired

Date posted: 11h

I’m sorry you’re hurting. People do care about you, we care about you, and there are so many lovely people that still haven’t had the chance to meet you yet. There are people out there that align with your values and share your interests and can offer the type of friendship that you cherish. Please don’t give up.

melissa71

Date posted: 9h

Thank you so much for responding. I truly appreciate it. It helps to vent, because I just can’t understand how someone is so present one day and then disappears the next. It’s hurtful and confusing.

sick&tired

Date posted: 8h

@melissa71 Of course 🩷 I don’t want to make any assumptions about your situation, but in general some people are just not meant to stay in our lives. I’m going through a different type of friendship betrayal and even though I care about them I am not willing to look past what they’ve done and I’m ready to move on. It’s your life, you’re allowed to be picky about who you let in it.

melissa71

Date posted: 7h

@sick&tired You’re right. It seems that my “sister” does not have time to even say hello, going on three weeks now, she just posted pictures from “fun times” she had somewhere, I’m assuming w her new boyfriend. It’s not that she is in a relationship that bothers me. It’s that she basically dumped me in the sense that she has no time for me, not even a text, nothing. I was left wondering if I did something wrong, if she was ok, etc. When will I learn that others will always put themselves first? I would never treat my friends like that. I’ve been stressing over this while she’s having a ball. And I have to see her at a mutual friends house soon? I don’t want to, but I have to learn to be unbothered. If I do talk to her again, I will let her know it’s not ok to forget someone like that. Our friendship is damaged. I hope your situation improves, and I’m sorry for the betrayal you’re experiencing. 💕

sick&tired

Date posted: 6h

@melissa71 I can see this has been so hard for you and it sounds like she’s done this before. Ultimately you get to decide what kind of behavior you’ll tolerate. It’s okay to hold people in your life to a higher standard. Not everyone is meant to be in our lives forever. I hope you know that how she treats you doesn’t say anything about you. I’ve been ghosted and it’s quite agonizing to try to get inside their head and imagine why they did what they did, or question what did I do wrong, etc. I can see this has made you second-guess yourself and I’m so so sorry. I think it’s not healthy to go through these mental gymnastics. Now I trust peoples actions over their words. My friend knew I was in an abusive relationship and as someone with OCD and excessive doubt I didn’t know it at the time. Still, something felt off, so I told that friend what was going on even though I didn’t have the labels for it (and I only told this one friend). And they didn’t affirm that I experienced assault. They didn’t show concern for my wellbeing. They didn’t point out that there were resources available for people in my situation. Worst of all, they knew that I was living with my abuser. Caring about your friend’s safety enough to make sure they know that they’re a victim of a violent crime is the bare minimum. Trying to connect them to resources & helping them exit to safety is the bare minimum. I honestly don’t know how a friend knew I was living with an abuser after I had just been assaulted and felt comfortable enough to just leave me in that situation. And still spoke to me like normal all those weeks as if none of this was going on.. it makes me sick. Unfortunately, people do things that you can never imagine doing to them. I mean, I wouldn’t even let my worst enemy go through something like this alone. So please please, be gentle with your heart. Protect it. I wish I learned this a lot sooner in life. But every day we can start again. And we will find our people. Take good care of yourself. 🙏🏽

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