Digital Footprint/I feel so sick

I'm so worried about my close ones and sick of myself. For real events and I'm horrified that somehow we're going to go viral, turn into a forever meme, and get cancelled. I want to do fun things but I'm so scared of the outcomes and my mind plays it to be so catastrophic... and my social media posts involve a lot of people doing awful actions and I feel like I can't side anywhere or else I'd feel like a hypocrite. I know there's a video on YouTube 11 years ago where a close one of mine read a slur but in a casual way because they were a kid and didn't know what it meant and I'm really scared that it'll somehow go viral. 😓 I tried to hack into the channel to delete it but it wasn't possible. Then it reminds me of my own real events and I feel such an awful awful human being. God,,, "Maybe I'm a horrible being, maybe not, maybe this will happen, maybe not" maybe but I always remember that the internet is permanent. That's what gets me. Digital Footprint, Real-Events, said this stupid thing, had a stupid group chat, did this stupid action, the Internet is forever and people won't let things go when possible ! I feel so terrified and I know I can't do anything about it but I just wonder if anyone can relate to this right now. Or what, I'm just so out of this world at the current moment. :^(

Real Events OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 3d

As a Black Women, if you said a slur I think you just need to admit you did to help not fill the ocd. You obviously were young and learned the word from maybe family or the internet. As long as you can educate you’re and fully grown from the accident then you should be okay. “ I was a child that knew no better, made mistakes by hearing words said by family or internet and didn’t thinking much of it and I now the know the history behind that slur and educated myself on the history behind it” the best thing about growing up is learning your mistakes and to know younger you doesn’t define older you. I’ve made mistakes and said shit too tbh, but I can’t go my whole life denying it. You gotta accept maybe you said a slur and maybe one day you will be exposed but YOU now know how wrong it is because you grew

VVbee

Date posted: 2d

Thank you for letting me know, you're right. I think what upsets me the most is that despite now knowing the history and being educated on certain words is the fact that it's still been done, I'm not only worried that I could be exposed but as well as my close ones despite the morals being that everyone deserves to be included and equal. People on the internet are really harsh and never let things go, and that's one thing that horrifies me. What else could happen? I hate the idea that I may have accidentally done other things without my knowledge, and just the overall idea of accidentally causing harm or being gross to other groups it just makes me feel so incredibly sick. Maybe I did do more, as you said there's no certainty and I'm trying to remember that, we just don't know. But it's just so difficult.

Anonymous

Date posted: 10h

@VVbee I’ve said bad words I’ve heard other people say before trying to look cool because I thought they were. I don’t hold it to myself because I know now. My childhood is also pretty traumatic my therapist told me she thinks I have PTSD and my ocd latches onto things from my childhood especially because I didn’t know anybody tbh, I did a lot of stupid things that I look back on and get scared. But I was a child I was innocent and didn’t know anybody and I can’t hold myself to that anymore. I’ve grown into my mistakes and learned from them and that’s the part of growing up. I promise even if someone found out, just explain yourself and let it be.

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