hestia
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Same literal feelings today. This time it’s over if I resolved something or not with an old friend. I can’t remember if I did or not. Just know it will pass. OCD comes and goes. I’m thinking laughter, if we can find it, may be helpful? Self-compassion and self-love are at the heart of all of this.
HappySCMommyHappySCMommy
- Date posted
- 5y
Everyone has old themes, some of us have many... typically, at the very heart of it all, we need to forgive ourselves. Do you think that everyone you know needs to confess and ask forgiveness for everything they’ve ever done (& don’t forget we often punish ourselves for mistakes as if we intentionally hurt something or someone)? Remember, you can’t be there for your friends until you can start being there for yourself. I struggle with self-esteem because I feel it’s wrong for me to “like” myself. That’s OCD. I’ve been reading a lot about self-compassion and it has helped. Wishing you all the best - use that mind strength of compassion (that your OCD is trying to turn into confessions) to give yourself compassion.
DominickDominick
- Date posted
- 5y
If a counselors advice to you is to put it behind you. Past is past. It’s over and done. Find your tools that help you cope And use the heck outta of them
hestiahestia
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
This sounds bad, but I feel I have to confess to each person in my life because I feel I don’t deserve to be around them. Like I’m not allowed to enjoy their presence.
ben123ben123
- Date posted
- 5y
Same for me. Magnification of real life. Assuming the story I have told myself is fact and likely. Going to worse case scenario and thinking I can’t cope. Wanting release from it and googling which is making it worse. Eugh so bored by myself!
HappySCMommyHappySCMommy
- Date posted
- 5y
My therapist helped me realize that all my Googling had become one of my main reassurance seeking tactics and reminded me that the thousands of google searches had not typically made me feel better. He asked me, as an exposure (& to validate my need for detail), that I limit myself when I google something online to only click on one result... it can be any of them, but just one. I can read what that one says and then I have to move on. May be something to try. And as all have said we need to give ourselves compassion. It’s like we’re in a jail cell and the prison door is wide open, we even have the key too (just in case). Everyone has long forgotten (or never even gave thought to) what we did or didn’t do that we’ve labeled as bad (whether it was or not). But we won’t walk out of the cell. We need to walk out of the cell and LIVE. We deserve to live.
Related posts
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 25w
I can’t figure it out
I have a bunch of real event/false memory and there is one that I remember I got in the middle of a horrible episode and I believed it was false but now I can’t remember why I thought it was false and now believe it could be real and it’s just bothering me so much because I want to remember the details to why I believed it was false in the first place and I’m just in a horrible spot and feel disgusting and am getting intrusive thoughts on my themes when I try to check if they are intrusive or not and I can’t function like i don’t wanna be around anyone because all I want to do is confess but I can’t because then I’ll obsess on confessing and they won’t understand.
nae nae
- Date posted
- 24w
Afraid I won't recover
I'm going through a rough time. I used to think medication would brighten my world, but if anything, it's muted it. The physical anxiety is less, and I felt okay(ish) for a while, but things are getting bad again. I'm so afraid I'll never get to a point where I feel safe in my body and in my mind. Today is the first day I've cried in... I don't know how long. But I didn't feel the relief I thought I would. Initially, I did, but it morphed into dread, and now I'm sitting by myself, trying not to panic. I really want to begin seeing a therapist for OCD, but I don't know how much my insurance covers. There's just so much on my mind right now. A whole bunch of old themes are resurfacing. I wish I could've been given a different path in life. I'm trying to stay strong. It's just really difficult. I feel like I'm being sent back to square one :(
gl0aming
- Date posted
- 21w
Spiraling, encouragement appreciated <3
I had a really hard day yesterday. I had a memory come up, of a thought i had years ago, when my OCD was still fairly fresh. I remember that i was fantasizing, and i had a thought pop in of one of my obsessions, and for a second, i think i may have entertained it- maybe even enjoyed it. I talked about this with my first therapist and was able to move past it, but it has remained one of my stickiest and most horrible thoughts. Yesterday i tried to think through it again, and i definitely had an arousal feeling. I have this terrible fear that i could enjoy my obsessions if i just let go. I don’t want to be the kind of person who enjoys these things. I have a life and a family that i love so much, i’m just so deeply afraid of being irreparably evil. I feel like i’ve done something horrible, and that it’s only a matter of time before people find out. I don’t even necessarily know what the thing is that i’m supposed to have done. My brain offers a myriad of options, of course, but i’m usually able to talk myself through them- or when i’m not, have a family member talk me through them. I’m afraid i’m fooling them all. I just want to be a good person, but i feel like such an imposter. I want to be loved so desperately, but i feel like anyone who can find it in themself to love me must be evil too.
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