Story ig

Funny (though not really) how OCD has the gravitational pull to keep the bad stuff swirling in our orbits like meteors ready to crash down on us at any time. But in reality, the past is gone - it’s behind us - we did (or maybe didn’t) do or say stuff we wish we hadn’t. We’re the ones that keep it all orbiting around our lives. So, we’re the ones that gave the ultimate power to let it all go like the space trash it actually is. Put the trash out at the curb. Don’t let this guy live rent-free in your head. I bet he’s not thinking about you or these past things at all. Check with your therapist, but perhaps a helpful ERP might be to envision the exaggerated and ridiculous possibility that the dude does drive up, gets out of the car, and walks into your place where you live together with your 13 kids, 4 dogs, and 7 cats! It’s likely easier to dismiss that kind of thought - and, in the end, decrease the power of any mental image of him. But — check first as I’m not a therapist, just another person trying my best to live well with OCD! Good luck!

Well - try the suggestion I shared. Well… first of all, the more we try not to think about something the more powerful that thought becomes and the harder it is to get it to go away. You might try this: when a thought about him enters your mind, say out loud : “This is an OCD thought. It is like a dark cloud in the sky that may or may not rain on me, but like all clouds will eventually move away with the wind.” Don’t try to force the thought away, because then it will just stick around more. Try focusing your attention on something outside of yourself — such as a physical object in the room or a tree or a flower if you’re outdoors—but make sure it’s something you can see and touch, not another thought or idea. Give it all your attention and the volume of your OCD thought may be dialed down. I choose to really examine the back of my hands — tracing the bones and blood vessels I see, looking closely at the surface and details of my skin, and focusing on all the cool and useful things I do with my hands. Again, it shifts my mind away from the OCD thought. Most of all, know in your heart, mind and soul that we are NOT our thoughts. They are not real and certainly not ever 100% true. They have only the power we ourselves might ascribe to them. Lastly, give yourself the grace and love you deserve. You are a good person. OCD wants to feed us thoughts that will attack our self-worth and self-acceptance. Persistent thoughts of a person who treated us wrongly and made us feel bad about ourselves are very common for those of us with Relationship OCD. They keep us locked into believing that we’re broken or bad, that we deserve to be treated like crap. But it’s all fake — all lies — all OCD. Hope some of this may be helpful to you. You got this! If you can, I hope you try therapy. It truly helped me. Take care!