How do I deal with relationship anxiety?

What should I do if I get too anxious talking to my girlfriend? Should I take a short break from talking to her to calm down, or should I keep trying? I really wanna talk to her, but it’s too difficult for me. I always start overthinking what she says, like whether she’s getting bored of me and things like that. We’ve had a beautiful 2-year relationship, and I really enjoy talking to her, but now I can’t, and sometimes i start like avoiding talking to her and i always get anxious when i see a new message from her, im scared, i really dont wanna lose her, she knows I have OCD, and I’m aware that the things my OCD tells me aren’t necessarily true, but they still make me really anxious. And because of that anxiety, I start getting even more thoughts, like “What if I don’t love her anymore?”, “What if I should leave her?”, or “What if I’m just bored of her?” But in reality, none of that is actually happening. It only feels real because I’m thinking about it so much, and that’s what scares me. I’m also scared of falling back into that cycle of anxiety I was in before. I really want to make talking to me enjoyable for her again. Despite my OCD, I’ve managed to do that many times before, but recently my parents had to take me out of therapy, and I feel like all the progress I had made, where I had finally found some stability, is slowly fading away. I’m starting to feel like my anxiety is getting out of control again, and sometimes I don’t know what to do with certain thoughts. I’m scared of falling back into that anxiety and letting it affect my relationship.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5w

This is such a hard feeling to have and sit with. My therapist would say, as scary and uncertain as it feels, do the opposite action. OCD wants to isolate us and get us to focus only on it. I know this is going to feel much harder for you now that you have mentioned feeling a little destabilized not being in therapy but I know you are capable. I like to tell my partner “I’m having a rough brain day and I am doing my best to stay connected with you” and then I usually am met with a hug. This is honest, open communication that lets your partner know where you are at but without over explaining and asking for reassurance (which we know feeds that OCD.) I want to thank you for your vulnerability here and I am in your corner! *Trigger warning for next paragraph* We do not know what our future holds with people and that is something entirely out of our control. The way I try to navigate this is, if my relationship would end, I would want to know that I did everything I could to love to the best of my ability and stay connection in spite of my OCD and everything it wants me to do. If my relationship is going to end it is going to end for some other reason than my OCD.

JuanCarlosKi...

Date posted: 5w

@Anonymous Thank you so much, i really appreciate it

💜Cinderella💜

Date posted: 7h

I think just tell her how you feel, it is easier said than done I know but for the relationship to strengthen both sides have to communicate. (Coming from a female perspective on the situation btw) And reading how much you love her touches my heart, if I had a boyfriend who loved me this much I would feel so blessed. She is truly blessed to have you and you to have her.

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