I’m in this phase with my sexual based ocd where I’m pretty much constantly aware/feeling a physical feeling. It’s so sick and awful and scary and I’m trying to remind myself that it’s just OCD or even if it’s not it’s not connected to my obsession but every time I move or do anything I feel like I’m trying to make myself feel that way on purpose. I feel so awful.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

For myself, I always got this confused with having a high sex drive. But it seems OCD is what likely makes the thoughts so persistent. I find it helpful to keep track of how often it happens so I can take a numbers based approach to my partner if I need to explain myself.

There’s hope

Date posted: 5y

I’m not even really having any thoughts, I’m just paranoid because I’m feeling this way with the triggers nearby/around and it makes me feel like they’re connected even if they aren’t. And I’m sure my focusing/ruminating makes it worse. I’m just so nervous cause I feel like I want to like, experience pleasure, but I don’t if it has anything to do with my fear/thoughts.

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@KBright Yeah I think the ruminating isn’t helping you or me. Let’s not sweat it and see where that gets us.

There’s hope

Date posted: 5y

@ProsperwithOCD It’s just so hard. I feel so guilty ? Hopefully some medicine and ERP will help

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

@KBright I haven’t tried ERP but from what I read it helps most people. I find keeping a pros and cons list of resisting compulsions can keep things in perspective.

There’s hope

Date posted: 5y

@ProsperwithOCD That’s a great idea! Right now I’m writing down all my fears/thoughts as they occur so my therapist and I can make a plan

StefH

Date posted: 5y

@KBright and @ProsperwithOCD I think you both are on the right path to recovery and that is being able to discuss it! ERP is absolutely life changing but it is HARD! Your anxiety will shoot through the roof and I know just hearing that right there makes you want to turn the other way and run. But believe and trust me it really works. Because what it is ultimately doing is desensitizing your brain of your fear. And before you know it, the ruminating will become less and less.

There’s hope

Date posted: 5y

Thank you so much for your support. I’m so scared to start but I’m so ready to be healthy again.

StefH

Date posted: 5y

@KBright I completely understand and I have been there. I honestly treated it at times like going to the gym “oh, I’ll try tomorrow today was just too stressful”. But you said it yourself “you are ready to be healthy again” and that is amazing! That’s YOU controlling your OCD not it controlling you. For the past 6+ years mine has been all about a certain kind of contamination. So what I’m struggling with if when I feel the need to act on a compulsion I’ll say to myself “no, do the opposite, don’t give in to the obsession...” but what I’m struggling with is now it’s like my OCD out smarted that and is like “well you are trying to pick this specific time to not wash these germs because you truly want them there...” which obviously I don’t want them. But it’s how this OCD monster controls and tortures us. So always remember you will have good days and bad days. I can’t say I’m perfect and I kicked OCDs ass because honestly it’s always going to be a battle. But your need/want to “be ready to be healthy” needs to overpower this monster!

There’s hope

Date posted: 5y

Thank you SO much!!! I truly needed this!! I’m trying so hard not to panic right now ? But you’re right, at the end of the day everything is happening because of this monster in my head, and I need to take the reigns back. It loves to avoid my punches and twist my words. It likes to evolve and change but it’s still just OCD. I’m doing my best! I wish you so much peace and healing.

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