There’s hope
- Date posted
- 5y
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
For myself, I always got this confused with having a high sex drive. But it seems OCD is what likely makes the thoughts so persistent. I find it helpful to keep track of how often it happens so I can take a numbers based approach to my partner if I need to explain myself.
There’s hopeThere’s hope
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m not even really having any thoughts, I’m just paranoid because I’m feeling this way with the triggers nearby/around and it makes me feel like they’re connected even if they aren’t. And I’m sure my focusing/ruminating makes it worse. I’m just so nervous cause I feel like I want to like, experience pleasure, but I don’t if it has anything to do with my fear/thoughts.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@KBright Yeah I think the ruminating isn’t helping you or me. Let’s not sweat it and see where that gets us.
There’s hopeThere’s hope
- Date posted
- 5y
@ProsperwithOCD It’s just so hard. I feel so guilty ? Hopefully some medicine and ERP will help
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@KBright I haven’t tried ERP but from what I read it helps most people. I find keeping a pros and cons list of resisting compulsions can keep things in perspective.
There’s hopeThere’s hope
- Date posted
- 5y
@ProsperwithOCD That’s a great idea! Right now I’m writing down all my fears/thoughts as they occur so my therapist and I can make a plan
StefHStefH
- Date posted
- 5y
@KBright and @ProsperwithOCD I think you both are on the right path to recovery and that is being able to discuss it! ERP is absolutely life changing but it is HARD! Your anxiety will shoot through the roof and I know just hearing that right there makes you want to turn the other way and run. But believe and trust me it really works. Because what it is ultimately doing is desensitizing your brain of your fear. And before you know it, the ruminating will become less and less.
There’s hopeThere’s hope
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you so much for your support. I’m so scared to start but I’m so ready to be healthy again.
StefHStefH
- Date posted
- 5y
@KBright I completely understand and I have been there. I honestly treated it at times like going to the gym “oh, I’ll try tomorrow today was just too stressful”. But you said it yourself “you are ready to be healthy again” and that is amazing! That’s YOU controlling your OCD not it controlling you. For the past 6+ years mine has been all about a certain kind of contamination. So what I’m struggling with if when I feel the need to act on a compulsion I’ll say to myself “no, do the opposite, don’t give in to the obsession...” but what I’m struggling with is now it’s like my OCD out smarted that and is like “well you are trying to pick this specific time to not wash these germs because you truly want them there...” which obviously I don’t want them. But it’s how this OCD monster controls and tortures us. So always remember you will have good days and bad days. I can’t say I’m perfect and I kicked OCDs ass because honestly it’s always going to be a battle. But your need/want to “be ready to be healthy” needs to overpower this monster!
There’s hopeThere’s hope
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you SO much!!! I truly needed this!! I’m trying so hard not to panic right now ? But you’re right, at the end of the day everything is happening because of this monster in my head, and I need to take the reigns back. It loves to avoid my punches and twist my words. It likes to evolve and change but it’s still just OCD. I’m doing my best! I wish you so much peace and healing.
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issphra 🫶🏻
- Date posted
- 25w
I don’t want to keep doing this
some days I wake up with so much dread and guilt. It makes it so hard to keep going. I open my eyes and I’m hit with a wave of nausea and terror. I feel ashamed of my compulsions and my OCD. I feel like a monster for my checking compulsions. For momentarily sexualizing things that shouldn’t be sexualized out of anxiety. I’m ashamed of a lot that I give into because of anxiety. Confessing things that are meaningless to my boyfriend. I feel so awful and unworthy of existing and of love. I feel hopeless I don’t want to keep pushing, the more I push the more meta my OCD becomes and the more guilt I feel for this mental illness. The more confusing it becomes to do ERP. If compulsions are a choice, they feel like life or death and it’s driving me insane, I beat myself up so badly over them I’m scared of compulsions, I’m scared of thoughts, I’m scared to be awake, I’m even scared of sleeping because my intrusions and compulsions haunt me there too. I spend my dreams trying to explain or justify my OCD and compulsions to people. I’m exhausted, I want this to stop so badly. My severe OCD isn’t feeling any less severe and it’s been months. I don’t want to keep questioning my every move but I’m so hyperaware of everything I do. I’m so tired. Some days I don’t even have tears to cry with. I’m just so full of despair and shame
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nae nae
- Date posted
- 25w
Uncomfortable :(
This isn't forever, and I'm trying to stay positive, but I'm so uncomfortable in my own body. I can't stop hyperfocusing on every little sensation I experience, especially when I have intrusive thoughts. I can't stop holding my my breath or tensing up when I experience them. I know it's a compulsion, but I genuinely feel so unsettled. The physical sensations of anxiety aren't really there. Like, I'm not nauseous, but I just feel... off. I hate my mind, I hate these thoughts. Like, I wish OCD didn't attack every single thing in my life. I'm feeling really gross right now. I haven't been able to cry in so, so long. It's probably due to my meds, but I miss having that emotional release... Just a mini vent. I've been really struggling against the urges to confess/seek reassurance. One more week until my next psychiatrist appointment, but I'm just really frustrated with my brain right now.
HOY
- Date posted
- 18w
crying
Im only 20 and Ive been crying. I am not diagnosed with OCD yet but it lines up. I'm so scared its not, these physical sensations and urges are so horrible and I just wanna hide myself from this earth. It feels so real. I'd rather not feel any arousal than experience it, no matter if its something I like or not. I want to be free from this hell.
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