This is kinda long, somebody help

I want to tell my mom about how i’ve been feeling. Ive been feeling like i am getting worse and my mind feels like its fighting back and forth each day. Its hard to comprehend compulsions a little bit but each time I give in to what my mind is telling me it only makes me feel worse. I feel like I am ruining my relationship, my friendships, and the relationship I have with myself. I don't know who I am anymore and I feel like my mind is constantly shifting different opinions and thoughts. I just want to go back to my old self, I kinda feel like my boyfriend has been liking me less because each time I notice something small in our relationship, I give in to the urge to bring jt up and not let it go for days. I cant tell my friends how I feel, and right now I just don't want to bring it up to my boyfriend. I want to tell my mom but I cant afford going to get treatment, or go to a doctor. I don't want to have to get help either. Not sure if I do actually need it I just want to stop feeling this way. It goes away, and then comes back so often I am losing myself and giving in each time. I dont know if I am just overthinking everything. I feel so scared and alone my chest hurts so much. Is it normal to feel this way? Does everybody feel like this? Everyday is such a battle and I just want an explanation. Anyways, I know this is long, but how do I bring up feeling this way to my mom? I feel like she will just say she feels that way too, then say that she is too busy for the doctor. I want to describe this feeling to someone, but I dont know where to start, any tips?

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

I feel like I may have a similar experience to you in my relationship. It took me a long time to identify my anxiety and no it’s not normal and very painful. Unfortunately people who arnt trained to help you through anxiety can make it worse. It’s not a logical thing so it’s hard for your friends and family to actually help you through it. But it’s important to tell them so they understand, not all the details just let them know your struggling and to give you grace. I have insurance and can afford therapy but since you cannot I recommend potentially going to a school counselor if you’re in school. Also journaling and researching anxiety/ ocd/ adhd coping mechanisms might really help you. Remember do not burden your relationship and loose someone you love try to set back when you feel the need to fight over small things.

mangosteen

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous “Unfortunately people who aren’t trained to help you through anxiety can make it worse” how can people such as family and friends make it worst? Could it be through giving “general advice” that might not work well with an OCD brain?

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

@mangosteen Yes. If you have fear of flying most people will tell you that it’s safer than being in a car, or to just avoid planes forever. I more or less meant you should tell them but not rely on them to make you feel better, it’s very easy to say the wrong thing when you don’t know what’s happening in someone’s head with anxiety. Especially with ocd sometimes nothing you say is the “right answer”.

SharkByte

Date posted: Yesterday

First off, I’m sorry you’re going through this and I highly empathize with you. You asked if other people feel this way and yes, I have felt like I am losing myself, or that I might be losing my mind in all the ruminations. My advice is simple, but I know it won’t feel easy: talk to your mom. Sit her down and tell her what is happening in your head. Ask her to keep an open mind. I don’t know if you’ve been formally diagnosed with OCD, but if you have, informing your loved ones about what OCD is and how symptoms manifest can help them better understand you and support you when you are having those intense, intrusive thoughts. The other thing I will say is, get help. And I’m not saying that sarcastically, but seriously. Getting support from an expert on OCD was the best decision I could have ever made—I have strategies I can pull from to help when I need them and I don’t feel as helpless. I hope you take that step as well, because it is worth it.

unicorn11ice...

Date posted: 8h

Thank you! I appreciate this answer a lot! Do you have any strategies that you mind sharing that helped you?

SharkByte

Date posted: 8h

@unicorn11icecream I sit with the anxiety and the discomfort. I have OCD coping statements that I use like, “This thoughts is not helpful right now”. I recommend looking up some coping statements or OCD scripts.

leti05

Date posted: 17h

This is how I feel.. yeah I’m planning on telling my mom as well.

unicorn11ice...

Date posted: 8h

If you don’t mind me asking, how are you planning on telling her? This feeling is just so hard to describe to someone I dont know where to start.

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