New theme

I actually felt my brain trying to begin a new theme ! I felt like I could lose my mind, go crazy. Get so panicked and anxious that I might explode. It felt dreadful, that amount of panic and dread. I was able to breath through it, tell my brain - i know what this is. I know whats happening here. And it passed. I fell asleep. But its hard to forget those moments when I do actually feel my brain trying to become terrorised by - thoughts. Thoughts that feel real. Thoughts that make you feel so scared and panicked its like your world is about to end. I honestly couldn't explain this to someone who doesn't have ocd. It took something ive been really caring about lately, and scared the living daylights outa me. What if......😱 It was a religious theme it was tapping into, because its something I've been caring about lately. So it took it, and put it beside something I would absolutely hate to happen, and it felt like it was sitting on top on my chest, thats how scared and panicked I got. I felt the weight of my fears. Whoa. Like I felt the fear in my body and mind. Im okay now. But these are like reminders how strong ocd can be, even after treatment. The only good thing ? I was able to recognise is, and, ride the wave ? Dont know what else to call it. A petrifying wave.

Boooperbear

Date posted: Yesterday

I’m so sorry, I had a similar experience recently where it got so bad I felt like I needed to do something about it too. It got really scary and I just curled in a ball in bed and tried to breathe. Im so glad you recognized it and are moving forward in the best ways you can. Im here for you! I can imagine that was a very scary experience. You’re doing amazing though and I’m proud of you!

🪽AngelsWings🪽

Date posted: Yesterday

Thanks a lot. Yeah it was wild. Came from nowhere and bam, the spiral came on. But it did stop just as quickly, but probably only because I didnt carry out a compulsion or anything. I was able to short circuit it, in a way. Glad I just went to sleep afterwards. Sorry you go through same things. And glad you got through it, too. Life is hard enough, without our own brains trying to trick us. And panic us.

Boooperbear

Date posted: Yesterday

@🪽AngelsWings🪽 I’m proud of you for not carrying out anything that would have made the feelings worse! You’re doing amazing and I’ve definitely really looked up to your advice and love to hear the progress you’re making!

🪽AngelsWings🪽

Date posted: 20h

@Boooperbear Thanks 🤗 I had a really good therapist. I learnt so much from her. How is your sessions going ?

Boooperbear

Date posted: 17h

@🪽AngelsWings🪽 I’m having another one today and I’m definitely nervous for it. My current therapist that I’ve had for a year has been more for my depression and some other life struggles rather than erp. I started seeing a second therapist on here specifically for erp and it’s really scary for me mainly because it’s someone completely new and also something I’m not entirely used to yet. But last night was really nice, I was able to spend time with my family and have some alone time with my wife without any intrusive thoughts and every feelings getting in the way.

🪽AngelsWings🪽

Date posted: 15h

@Boooperbear I know the feeling. I basically fell down the ocd rabbit hole once I began sessions. But its because there is so much to learn about it. Its the same as anything. Its scary when its unknown, but once you begin to learn more and more, it all starts to make sense and become clear, what ocd is and how it shows up in your life. Knowledge is power and it slowly lets you take the power back from ocd, and back to you, where it belongs. Im glad last night was a nice night for you, there will be plenty more of them especially once you get the ocd well managed. Im excited for you !

Boooperbear

Date posted: 7h

@🪽AngelsWings🪽 Thank you I appreciate your kind words and all the knowledge you’ve shared! I’m definitely having spirals today but I’m trying to just keep pushing through.

🪽AngelsWings🪽

Date posted: Yesterday

To add, a giveaway for me, that this was ocd, I felt an urge to DO SOMETHING to stop it from happening. So, in a way, this was like an OCD calling card. It actually made me know this is ocd, and I know, the worst thing I could have done? Was to carry out a compulsion. But I really wanted to. I felt scared and like I needed to DO SOMETHING. But I did nothing, and it passed. It did pass.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond