Managing Existential OCD

Sometimes I feel like I’m the only OCD sufferer with this subtype. It started about two years ago and has never truly gone away, although it has gotten better. While I’m mainly an artist, I also really LOVE philosophy, philosophizing, and a bit of theology too, as somebody who believes in God. But what’s cruel about this is that philosophical fears are also what drive my existential OCD, and it’s really hard to balance my interest in philosophy with my philosophical compulsions. I know some people will tell me to stop reading or looking into philosophy, but I don’t know what to do about that. On one hand, I genuinely enjoy reading this stuff since it intrigues me and intellectually stimulates me, but on the other hand I find myself compulsively researching it and reminding myself of philosophical ideas in order to ease my anxiety. There’s also the fact that philosophy doesn’t have any easy answers that really frustrates me sometimes. Additionally, while ERP does help ease my anxiety over this, it can also bring some mild depression too, and it just exhausts me sometimes. Just wanted to know if anybody else struggles with this subtype and how they manage it. Just tired of feeling like I’m the only one.

Haley Watson

Date posted: 19h

I also struggle with this subtype. I’m new to ERP therapy, but i have been practicing having to live in uncertainty and continuing to tell myself I don’t need to figure everything out right now

omarandre@2003

Date posted: 18h

Thanks, I've been doing this too. It usuallg helps but I admit that sometimes I get tired of it and give into my OCD. It's nice knowing there's someone else out there who understands this

Felis_The_Cat

Date posted: 19h

This is fascinating, and while it’s not the sub type I struggle with I can empathize with it. I think it’s human to struggle with existential thoughts, most of human history is trying to work through these ideas. I don’t feel as if I’m in a position to really help, but maybe talking to your therapist about existential therapy. I don’t think the interest or the triggers will ever really go away as existential experiences can arrive out of nowhere, but learning to navigate them and the anxiety can probably help.

omarandre@2003

Date posted: 18h

Thanks. I've actually made peace with the fact that deep unanswerable questions are part of the human experience and I'm cool with that, but some days are still a bit harder than others. Will definitely keep going regardless

MaybeMaybeNot39

Date posted: 18h

You’re definitely not the only one. I deal with existential-type OCD too, and one of the hardest parts is figuring out where genuine curiosity ends and the compulsion to ‘solve’ something begins. I don’t think you necessarily have to give up philosophy if you genuinely love it. For me the bigger question would be: am I reading this because I’m interested, or because my brain is demanding an answer so I can finally feel safe? That’s where ERP seems to matter—learning to let the question exist without researching, analyzing, or mentally reviewing until it feels resolved. And yeah, that can feel exhausting or even a little depressing at first because you’re giving up the temporary relief the compulsion used to provide. But you absolutely aren’t alone in this.

Anonymous

Date posted: 18h

I struggle with this almost exactly to a T. While I don’t really have much helpful advice, I find that moving away from philosophy also messes with me because it feels like I am “avoiding” what I “need” to know. It’s nice to know others can relate to this feeling, though.

FarAway245

Date posted: 17h

I really used to struggle with this one and still get relapses sometimes. At one point in time it was all I ever thought about for about 2 years straight. In the end what worked for me is whenever my mind asks a scary existential question, I simply just say “do not engage” in my head, and turn my thoughts or attention elsewhere. I’ve noticed that in doing so I essentially created a firewall. I don’t follow the thought, try to argue with it or try and disprove it. I don’t think it’ll ever be gone because the fears are so deeply entwined with what I care about the most, but adopting this process gave me my life back. I wish you all the best! 😄

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