emetophobia+ocd anyone??

I’m no expert at all, but just from reading this it sounds like the OCD subtype Magical Thinking. I personal don’t have any experience with this subtype but it does sounds difficult I’m sure there are plenty of people on this app that can relate in some fashion.

Hi there! Its crazy of how much I relate to all of this. I am severly emetophobic, and I also believe I have OCD (not diagnosed). But the OCD looking symtopms also started around the time my emetophobia did. When I was maybe 6 or 7 (no pun intended) I got very very sick with a bad stomach bug. I could literally not stop throwing up. It was a family trip so my whole family was sick, but since they were all adults it wans't so hard on their bodies as it was on mine. I felt like I was dying. Eventually after we got better and we got back home I developed a severe fear of throwing up, and I have actually not thrown up since, too (its been more than 12 years). I also developed rules and rituals to avoid throwing up because I was so scared it would happen again, and yes, people would mock me for it or tell me to "just throw up to get over with it faster". I became obsessed with any little sensations I would feel in my stomach and wonder if that meant I was going to throw up. It also made me very scared of germs and food poisoning. For many years I was not able to eat something by myself without asking someone else to check if the food was rotten or spoiled, as I would not trust my own judgement over food. Also, if any food made me feel sick or a bit nauseous (even if I never threw up) that food now was completely banned forever. This made me become very underweight as I was scared that if I ate I would throw up. My family thought I was just being a very picky eater but then started to worry, so lunch time became a very stressful time for me, making me hate food or the concept of eating. My family was concerned these issues with food were related to my body image, and for a long time I was called "anorexic" even though it was not the case at all. I did not care about my weight or how I looked, I was terrified that eating would make sick. It would also happen that ANYTHING that happened in a moment I felt sick or nauseous now felt "contaminated" in my brain. A certain combinations of clothes I was wearing? I could not wear that combo ever again. Or also certain settings. I remember once I got nauseous in the cinema after going to a restaurant. So I have never again gone to a cinema after eating at a restaurant since that scenario feels contaminated. I have gotten a bit better. When I was little even saying or hearing the words throw up or puke or vomit would make me panic, my legs would get shaky and I would get bad panic attacks. Now I am very clearly able to say and read those words, but the fear remains. Another behavior that I developed as a compulsion, is that to be able to go anywhere or leave my house I MUST carry some sort of anti-nausea medication. Especially those pepto-bismol chews. I cannot leave my house without them, and if I do I feel extremely anxious and scared, I have started to try and leave them at home for short trips to the store, but it makes deeply anxious, which ironically can make me feel nauseous. Once my fears got so bad that for a while I refused to eat anything at all. My parents got worried and took me to the ER and I got nutrients through an IV while many doctors tried to explain to me that eating would not make me throw up. To this day I still have very little safe foods, a lot of people still tell me I should just "grow up" and stop acting like this. Emetophobia is really isolating as most people dont take it seriously or take it as just being difficult :( The behaviors you mentioned about the rules and obviously irrational ideas that felt very real to you (ex:, the no waking up more than 3 times rule, or people throw up at the time of the day they were born thought) definitely look more like OCD symptoms rather than just emetophobia alone, but both conditions connected very often. I am rooting for you and I hope things get better, also kudos for working on trying to stop the compulsions and rules! That is no easy feat and you should be proud of yourself :)! I wish you all the best in your healing journey!