how to not let a relationship be your entire life?

Best thing you can do is develop a practice of conscious awareness. It’s super easy to be completely lost or caught in the grip of our thoughts, which are constantly and incessantly arising in a stream as a result of our intelligent consciousness. For the majority of humans, the thoughts are so automatic and entrancing, that they are practically happening to us, rather than us actively doing the thinking - which is where the practice of awareness comes in. By being aware of the thoughts as they arise, it breaks the hypnotizing effects of them, thus creating distance between you and them, and allowing you to re-center yourself in the present moment, where there is a deep sense of calm spaciousness that is completely untouchable by anything belonging to the world of form - that is anything that is outside of you, your body and thoughts included. I hope this isn’t too esoteric or confusing but, this is the basis of what the ancient sages called spirituality which is to realize that what you are in essence is something that is much deeper and more transcendent and divine than your mere thoughts which are conditioned by a troubled and lost human race. You are the everlasting, timeless observer - pure, unconditioned and inseparable from the source of all life in the universe. It’s so inspiring and beautiful to feel that sense of connectedness to the universe and all of our fellow brother and sister humans, that you develop a much grander sense of perspective as to what is really important in life. The source of true satisfaction is within all of us already, always has been and always will be. I don’t mean for this to be too overwhelming but, i hope you are getting a sense of what i am trying to communicate. Practice awareness of your thoughts dear friend. Center yourself and realize you are completely whole and complete just as you are, that is where your true power lies. It is the power of the present moment.

I had the same issue. My relationship was my whole life until I realized that I was in a dark place, and needed extreme help. Now starving OCD and keep my eyes fixed on the Creator are my priorities and my life is so much better, and my relationship has improved drastically because I’ve paradoxically been willing to surrender and lose it rather than always control it Hope this helps

Maybe figure out if the bond you have is solid. If it really truly is, then maybe these things you worry about arent so important. If it turns out youre wrong and they were red flags, well then at least you gave trusting somebody and relaxing a chance.

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