This is a cycle/I need more therapy. (Summarized)

This is just exactly my last post, lasts arouund.. 3-5 paragraphs. This version summarized although provides less detail. Last night I spiraled deeply. I felt like I was going to explode, I know I need help and it hurts a lot. With traditional Gen X parents who do care for me but are so odd with mental health, it's almost impossible to get the medical health but I crave it so bad especially since I had it grasped for just one moment. It hurts so bad, especially since due to my past trauma I'm aware I need it so had. I'm hurting mentally, physically, and overall I feel like my development and brain is scrambled. This is getting really serious. (And each time I feel like I'm getting better, it falls back to a worse state each time. 😓) I'm isolating a lot, I feel like a crazy monster due to my OCD and it hurts to have talked about my friend 2 posts ago especially with how nice they've been to me recently,, even with doing a bad action, they never did it again and what does that say about me who's done bad? I don't know. Despite then, I still have no clue how to respond since I'm not sure what's morally right or wrong, especially due to childhood I confuse myself on what is. Maybe I'm awful, maybe I'm not. But goodness do I wish I had the guidance for once! I can't deal with this disorder for half of my life and all on my own? I thought I was an expert at navigating this, but clearly not.

CatGee

Date posted: 23h

How old are you? When you’re over 18, you won’t need your parents to access mental health support. I would reach out to local organizations or psychologists and ask about resources. Make it clear that you have limited finances etc. In my area, you can get free therapy from the psychology students who are needing to gain hours of clinical work to graduate. I know that’s not the same as someone with years as an OCD therapist, but it’s a start. There may be group therapy options. Not where I live, but I’ve seen it in other places. It’s possible some are over zoom? Most therapists will have a ‘sliding scale’ with their rates and be able to offer you something more affordable. When I was in college, I reached out to 5 therapists in order to find the best price. Then I worked extra hours to afford going every two weeks. Good luck!! You’ve got this.

VVbee

Date posted: 22h

I turn 18 in 9 days, currently I'm still living at home and have no license so I unfortunately can't drive myself to the doctors and get help so easily. : ( This is tough since I also just don't know where to start. Currently it's really bad right now, I'm considering asking my mom to take me to the doctors rather than school I don't feel well. (Update: likely going to school, I chickened out) What's certain is that when I graduate, besides college I will reach out for medical help first thing so that my health can be taken care of. In the meantime, I have this community to help me speak out on these issues. I'm aware it won't treat me, but it helps me feel less lonely and sick. As well as I'm trying to find videos that could possibly help me with whatever is happening, I'm just winging it right now. Thank you so much though.!

CatGee

Date posted: 18h

@VVbee Yea, that makes sense. When you’re older you can always email OCD Psychologists/Clinics and do video therapy so that travel isn’t a barrier. You’re doing awesome 👏

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