My OCD is back

About a year ago i got into NOCD and exposure therapy and worked really hard to conquer my OCD and emetophobia. when i finished my therapy plan i felt like i was on top of the world and finally free from my cage. well at the beginning of this year i moved in with my fiance and got a new job. those things were some of the best things that ever happened to me and i was extremely proud of myself for working hard and doing it on my own. well fast forward a few months i could feel my old compulsions coming back but i brushed it off and tried not to. well now i just feel lost again. my anxiety is through the roof every single day im at work and i can feel my mind screaming compulsions at me and all of the what ifs. i end up disassociating for 8 hours at work and go home exhausted. 5 days a week. i know i need to restart therapy to get back on track but times are tough and i worry about the added stress of the cost and time it will take. but above all that, im not sure if im strong enough to do it again. exposure therapy was one of the HARDEST things ive ever done. and remembering how hard it is makes it difficult to get back into it knowing what i went through last time. i’m glad i did it and im so proud of myself for having the strength before, but its extremely daunting looking at it now. i guess i just wanted to rant to maybe someone who understands or has been through this before since i dont have anyone in my life who knows what its like to live with OCD. thanks for reading this far

Steven55!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 14h

Backdoor spikes are common. There's no shame in seeking ERP therapy again. Chances are, since you've been through it before, you'll only need a tune up.

Anonymous

Date posted: 17h

You did it before, I know you can get through this again. Please keep fighting, I am so proud of you!!

Anamorice

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 16h

This happened to me too, I basically felt like I was “cured” and then it came back with a vengeance. I think it’s because I stopped doing things to build that muscle. External new stresses happened in life that I wasn’t sure how to deal with those. I think I’m not giving external things enough pressure, also I gained Little weight and stopped taking care of myself physical as much as I have in the past. So my therapist reminds me it’s not a set back it’s just new challenges and that I have the power to get through hard things. I just know that new challenges will always come and I Will probably need to take extra care of myself during that time compared to someone else without OCD…. But that’s okay ✅

Anamorice

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 16h

@Anamorice Just to add, I felt like maybe I was a failure or I did something wrong…. I hope you don’t feel that way but if you do, leaning into the uncertainty is helpful. And I will say ERP is more challenging in some ways because the triggers feel more intense, but at least you already have an idea of what to do, so you can tackle the bigger problems right away if you’re comfortable instead of having to work your way up like when people first start ERP and it feels like a slow crawl up to the big challenges

Kim27

Date posted: 16h

There are free support groups on this app

Kim27

Date posted: 16h

It's important to get back into therapy. You can do it. My therapist said I'm one point away from being an ocd conqueror. That was yesterday. Today, I feel like crap and afraid it's all coming back. My ocd was bad for 10 months or more. It's been pretty good for 4 months

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