For me OCD feels like a gut punch, kinda like a guilt feeling. It can be distressing at times, curious what other people’s experiences have been!
Depends on the particular trigger or feelings each day for me personally. Sometimes it feels like deep dread or worry dropping to my stomach (kinda like the feeling of when you’re a kid and you hear a parent’s angry footsteps coming towards you cause you did something bad lol), sometimes it’s like an itch I can’t scratch in my brain, and sometimes it’s like a heart squeezing dull throb almost? Hard to explain! Lol
Sometimes it feels like whack a mole, sometimes it feels like I was walking in the sun and suddenly there's a heavy downpour I'm trapped in. Sometimes it feels like what the person above said and I get this guilty feeling like a kid waiting for an angry reaction from a parent (this is closer to how it felt today)
I always seem to have this heavy weight of doom. A lot of the time, I get thoughts that I’m going to do something bad so that impending doom is always there. But, it is currently changing to things I’ve said, so that heavy weight is more like guilt now. It’s kinda strange noticing this shift, but the same fear is always the same.
so much doom, demoralization, and dread.
I get a lot of pain in my stomach. With every anxiety wave. I’ve wondered if I was the only one. It feels like acid sloshing around my stomach. I’ve noticed if I get too hot at night I start to feel like I’m going to have a panic attack so I have to regulate my temperature.
It started out feeling like self introspection problem solving that was supposedly a "good thing" It used to feel like sweating, fast heart beat, panic, urgency It used to feel like OCD tendencies Now? It feels like it's depleted my brain entirely in every way, burnt me out, is a chronic every day disorder, a nightmare, low optimism, depressed, demoralized, feel like I'm dying, feel like I'm losing my identity, all day tension headaches are my normal / default, falling asleep is the best part of my day, but even then I have OCD compulsions in my actual dreams...it feels like OCD is me and I am OCD. That's the hell. It's become so normalized that you don't know where you begin and OCD ends. This started out as an innocent habit, 10 years later, it's become a monster that dominates life and thought process. "It gets better!" No, in my experience, it gets worse and worse until you eventually develop dementia and die. That said, I've never gone to ERP yet so maybe that will be my life line. Have A Nice Day!! :D
@Dude01 The OCD compulsions in the dreams are the worst! Man it sucks that it has gotten so bad for you, I had a period of time similar to yours and I thought I’d start to go crazy and need to go to a facility to be locked up - but, I refused to let it get there. I WANT to be happy, I NEED to love life. So I fought, and I searched for what to do. I relied on my loved ones even when they didn’t know what to do. It took finally getting meds and removing a huge stressor from my life before I started seeing improvement just this year. It does get worse, but then it gets better. There’s the calm before the storm, and then there’s the rainbow when the storm blows over with beautiful silver linings on the clouds.
@Dude01 I am so sorry for all you are going through, Jesus sees you and He loves you! I really think on top of believing in Christ that ERP might just help! I’ll be praying for you all!!! I’ll appreciate prayers as well! God bless!!!
@Dude01 I’ve done ERP. It’s not easy but It does help. At least for me it did. I think the best approach is to titrate exposures, not to get pushed into the deep end right away.
@Chlover612 - That's cool but it's been like 10 years for me. Every year it gets worse. Not really into brain meds but maybe that's my downfall.
@Anonymous - Appreciate that. I'm a Christian but haven't been to church in a while. I do all the things, read Bible pray etc. The funny thing is the last couple years I've tried to be "better" and more obedient and it's actually been my worst 2 years of OCD ever. Which is opposite of what you'd expect. Tbh that has made me really frustrated at God but I guess I'll keep on goin.
@SL3 - That's awesome. I'm to the point where I need to try ERP sooner than later.
@Dude01 Yeah that would be God, God really does love you despite what ocd tries to do to you, 2 Tim 1:7 it may really feel like God has given up on you but that’s a straight lie! Good to hear that you are believer! I will be praying for you that the Lord would would send you encouragement and strength through the hard days
@Anonymous That would be good*
@Dude01 Sometimes brains are wired differently- it’s ok and you’re not alone. My bad period of time was more like a slow increase over a period of a few years, exploded into hell on earth last year, and now it’s getting better because I finally accepted I need more help than I was wanting to accept originally (Meds and going to therapy). Before I was doing everything BUT the chemical route because I wanted to do it myself (get better through hard work and determination). Some people can do that, for others it causes more harm than good. Once you find your particular path, you’ll find a place that isn’t filled with so many mountains to climb. You got this even if it feels like it’ll be bad forever. It always does.
@Anonymous - Thanks so much, you too
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
