Why does life have to be so hard sometimes

I just moved to LA yesterday which is where the girl that I have feelings for lives. (To clarify I moved to LA for different reasons but she does live here. )For a backstory, I got so many hints that she had feelings for me as well last year (summer 2025) when I saw her a few times. My mom and aunt thought the same when they were around us. I saw her in December 2025 and she seemed quite sadand burdened. I was also in my denial of ocd phase at that point so I would try to act as happy as possible even when terrified, which I now realize isn’t helpful to people going through a hard time. She didn’t seem as happy as she did in the summer. She seemed a bit more nervous around me as well I told her I had feelings for her a few weeks later and she responded saying that she had heart tending to do. I know from background that she had a very traumatic upbringing. I really hate that. I hate that she has had so much to go through. It honestly makes me so sad. I saw her again today, and this time I brought up that I had OCD as I have been doing around a lot of people over the last few months because I have been afraid to say it so it is an exposure for me to tell people. Her mom was there too and said she knows someone who might have it, so I told her I would send my resources through the girls phone number so she can share it with her mom because I already had the girl’s phone number. So it does bring me a decent amount of peace to know that I was technically able to share my crisis resources with her, but I can tell that she seems nervous to see me since December (including before I told her I had feelings for her). I know to give her space, and I am doing that (we are family friends so I see her periodically still). I went back to their shop because I had to get something and she didn’t make conversation this evening, and I took that as a sign to not make conversation myself in order to not stress her, and I left pretty quickly. I just really hate that she has had to go through so much growing up, and I can tell that something is up and I can’t do anything about it, because I sense that my presence stresses her out. Like I said, I know the default response to this is to give her space and respect her boundaries. I know that and I am doing that. I am just venting on here because the situation really sucks all around because I can’t help her as much as I want to (and I mean help as in a being of support way. I do not mean in a “fixing” way). The other thing is that I am moved now, so I have lost the excuse that I had to not date in my hometown of I am moving soon so I don’t want to get into a relationship. Now that I am moved I have no reasonable excuse to not date someone else, but I know if I did date someone else and the girl I have strong feelings for told me that she had feelings for me, I would break up with whoever I was dating at the time to be with this girl, and that is not fair to anyone else who I date. I guess in a nutshell, this is just a very rough situation all around and I am just venting on here I guess. And for some positive news of the day, my mental condition is staying more stable than I thought I would moving 1500 miles away.