can't let an "injustice" go

the lore is too long to explain here, but the main issue is that I know someone online who shares content that is deeply triggering to me and just ridiculously immoral in general, yet several people I met in this same online community get along with this person or they even suck up to her. It makes me furious; I’ve blocked her and she’s blocked me, but knowing she keeps getting away with it, and on top of that, now spends her time posting passive-aggressive digs at me, really bothers me. I spent months obsessively checking her account and her friends' accounts, talking about her and how evil she is to anyone who would listen, and now I feel ashamed for having spent so much time on this. Now I realize that talking about the subject so much just made it worse and worse bc I kept getting the reassurance I was looking for, over and over again. how can i get over this? It's really not my responsability to "warn" people and care so much about who does and doesn't interact with this bizarre individual

anon7336474864

Date posted: 9h

to be honest i think you just have to do the most difficult thing. you have to do nothing. having ocd about this stuff with the compulsions and reassurance seeking is like picking at a wound, messing with it will always make it worse. once you stop focusing so much on the subject, it gets easier to let go. you don’t have to warn anyone about anything. if they cared about having a relationship with you, they would ask you about it directly. if people start leaving out of nowhere, i don’t think it would be a benefit for them to stick around anyway. that person is going to talk bad about you and there’s nothing you can do, so you don’t have to put so much energy into something that can’t be fixed. focus on who you have now and accept who you’ve lost, because i think that overall if someone leaves you and doesn’t even bother to ask you about the situation before they leave, they should just go anyway. don’t let people that likely wouldn’t be good friends to you control your life like this. you seeked reassurance a lot, but now is the time that you can learn and change from that. it’s okay if you messed up, all you can do is grow. you don’t have to overly apologize for reassurance seeking or anything like that (i’ve done that and it ended as a compulsion too😭,) all you have to do is change and that’ll do the talking for you. good luck

anon7336474864

Date posted: 9h

i think you could also benefit from taking a break and hanging out with your friends, if you can. it really helped me when i was in a bad place, so i hope it can have the same effect with you. it’ll take your mind off things if you just set it down for a second. go have fun with your friends

idkman0

Date posted: 9h

@anon7336474864 - I didn't mention it in the post, but I am taking a break. It sucks because I did meet people I really liked and thought we could become friends, but I can't get past the fact that they like this person. The truth is, I'm pretty short on friends right now, which was part of the reason I joined this community—to find people in my city with similar interests—but knowing I could run into people who are that sick and who on top of that also hate me is pretty discouraging

anon7336474864

Date posted: 9h

@idkman0 - if they like that person and you warned them already, it’s probably better that you find new people if it bothers you like this. i recently had a friend conflict too and as a result i distanced from a lot of people that decided to keep associating with the person i stopped being friends with. if people ask why you’re leaving the community you can probably just be honest about it and say you’re departing for reason a and b. if they’re not crazy they’ll probably understand, lol again if they act in ways that aren’t good or healthy it’s for the best to let go anyway

anon7336474864

Date posted: 9h

@idkman0 - some people just won’t stop even after a warning. you did what you wanted to, which was warn them, and then it’s up to them to make their own decisions. if someone doesn’t care enough about associating with a dangerous person, they have a chance of being dangerous themselves. at the very least they’re tolerating it enough to do nothing, and that’s enough for me to head out personally. i hope you find good people

idkman0

Date posted: 8h

@anon7336474864 - omg sorry i deleted my comment because i thought i commented on the wrong place lol idk how this site works. thank you, yeah i don't know if maybe these people maybe aren't aware of the darker stuff this person has posted but again, i think it's pretty obvious that she is not a good person so there's not much to do, i can't control what people do and if they choose to be her friend then i will just to distance myself and stick to chatting with other people and that's it

fireflyxo

Date posted: 9h

I haven't got much advice and I know it's easier said than done but try and not think about this person when you meet new people just be yourself and people will like you for you and you don't need to warn people about this person best thing is to not give them a reaction

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Date posted: 8h

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