Life after 9 months of OCD Therapy.

Hi all, Before I discovered OCD, I truly thought there was something deeply wrong with me. I struggled significantly to get my feet back under me. I cried endlessly, did not sleep, lost an unhealthy amount of weight, isolated myself, and seriously contemplated giving up on all my dreams. Initially, I was working with a therapist who knew nothing of OCD, did not believe in a diagnosis, and was trying to teach me that CBT was the solution. Now, by no means is this a knock on this therapist or CBT—this is a method that can absolutely help people. For me, I was doing CBT as a wicked compulsion. Constantly battling or “reframing” my thoughts to neutralize or counter them. It was a vicious cycle that lasted over a year. The lack of progress really impacted my confidence too. Finally, it got so bad that I just broke down and went to the doctors. My primary care physician was helpful and listened to my situation. She prescribed me Lexapro and redirected me to a psychiatrist. It was there I fully learned what OCD was. It was tough to accept that I suffer from a real disorder. I never thought that was going to be in my cards, but the sooner you accept, the better. It is what it is… onward. OCD is exhausting. It really tries to ruin everything that matters to you. For me, that was my family, my friends, my faith, my job, my sense of normality. It will break your heart. Now, for the good news…. It doesn’t have to do this. You can absolutely overcome OCD. I have come such a long way… I’m still learning… still getting better… I ABSOLUTELY have moments every day. But they do not cripple as they once did. The turning point was A: Medication. As someone who was once against medication, this was a huge pill for me to swallow ( no pun intended ), but the amount of room this has given me to do my ERP is astounding. Nothing to be ashamed of with medication; however, it is not a cure! The real work is with ERP and when my therapist ( who is awesome ) taught me these responses, it all started to click. * Intrusive Thought Shows Up * My response: “Yep, that’s totally going to happen— can’t wait, actually.” Or Response: “I guess we’ll find out one way or another— I’ll keep doing me.” I’ve learned that OCD is a disorder about the need for control/certainty. Control what you can control, trust yourself, and lose the need for certainty. Embrace the anxiety when it comes. Be one with the anxiety. Let it be there while you do what you need to do. Lastly, I found some great OCD accounts on social media that were great. Just be careful not to use them as compulsions. Just little tricks and tips along the way that I found helpful. Like I said, I still have moments…. Quite a few, haha! I’ll always have OCD, but my response to it has improved, and I will continue to work at it every day. You got this.