Ive been in a relationship for 2 years, this past year i have been more honest with my partner of my disorder, i want to be honest so bad bc i just want to feel free and allow myself vulnerability. I never ever have been able to confess my thoughts to a single soul before this current relationship ship. And for some reason i trust her. But i read things on here about it’s not good to over confess and truth is i still keep Allot from her bc i just can’t bear to know what she’ll think or even if she’d even tell me honestly. When am i over sharing? Bc now i haven’t told my deepest things but i feel like maybe i should back off. She wants to be here for me, she really does but i know that my spirals make her sad and drained. (She has zero mental health issues) i just feel like I’m going to be forever hiding myself from quite literally everyone.. even myself. Any advice?

Everyday always has to be something, I go through multiple different ocd induced spirals daily. Always worrying if I betrayed my partner. First it’s “did I cheat on my girlfriend and just forget?” Then it’s “Do sexual fantasies count as cheating? Did I betray her?” Then it’s “Oh you looked at your exes instagram out of a random impulse or curiosity a few times throughout your 2 year relationship that just mean you betrayed her” And many more throughout the day. I just feel so exhausted and tired. All I really want is to just be a good boyfriend, I just want to live in peace and wake up not always worried about something. I can never seem to really get over the ocd spiral unless I confess my ocd induced anxiety to my girlfriend. It’s obviously not healthy and it hurts her feelings more times than not. My girlfriend also has ocd so she tends to be more understanding but it doesn’t mean she isn’t hurt. I always feel trapped in the loop, if it’s not one thing it’s another. I’m ALWAYS worrying, I just feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. this has been going on for over a year, with only small breaks between spirals, i’m so unbelievably tired and more than anything, I just want to overcome this obstacle in my life and just be a good person and a good partner. If anyone has any advice, anything helps I feel so hopeless.

I am very new to this app and to accepting that I likely have OCD. I am not diagnosed yet, but I have suspected that I have it for years now. I think ignoring it/feeding the reassurance loop led to my first really bad panic attack a few days ago that put me in the hospital and essentially forced me to stop hiding my struggle from my loved ones. I had another one last night, and out of habit I’m already hiding my feelings from my loved ones. I’m having thoughts that I know are OCD but they’re very hard to get past because they feel so logical? Some examples: -I shouldn’t tell anyone because it wasn’t as bad as the one that hospitalized me -my loved ones are already tired of hearing me talking about it and I feel bad burdening them -I just had the last one and if I tell people about this one I’ll look like I’m attention seeking -I don’t want people to ask what the trigger was so I shouldn’t bring it up if I don’t want to have to answer that question I’m naming them here not for reassurance, but to help myself hopefully label these things as OCD per usual trying to keep me from getting help. The hardest part of this journey so far has been accepting that there are so many things that feel like normal, rational thoughts and feelings that having been hurting me and feeding a vicious cycle for years on end. It feels unreal because these things have become such subtle integrated parts of my life and my routine, and telling myself those things are harmful just feels wrong. It’s like what I have considered my “gut feeling” for years isn’t actually my intuition looking out for me, but is an overactive fear response that has been isolating me from everything and I’ve never questioned it because the isolation, the reassurance, feels good and like the right thing to do. How do I push past these thoughts and be honest with my loved ones about my struggling? How do I rewire my brain to stop the reassurance seeking and compulsions when it’s the only thing that’s made me feel better all these years?

I want to not be a burden for my partner. I have many friends of the opposite sex, I have not done anything with these friends and everyone knows how devoted I am to my partner. Still, I have these ruminating thoughts that somehow I’ve done something wrong, I’ve somehow cheated and my partner is going to find out and break up with me. I am a flirtatious person, and I think this is where this stems from. This may also stem because one of my male friends is attracted to me, but we’ve made it known we are just friends and he respects my relationship. A casual conversation where I may have verbally said something flirtatious can cause me to spiral for a whole day or days (and I’m working on that, my partner believes that everyone flirts and flirting is natural as long as it doesn’t go past boundaries.) I am so scared to lose my partner (we’ve been together 3 years) due to my constant OCD and obsessive thoughts that I then have to confess to him (he’s never mad and reassures me) and then work to get over it in my own mind. I know that I would not cheat on my partner and he is the one for me, but sometimes it feels like I cannot have friends and be with a partner because I don’t want my partner to ever feel like I’m willing to risk our relationship. It is so hard emotionally, I don’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings and stop being a friend because I can’t control my own thoughts and emotions. I worry so much about having possibly said something super inappropriate and don’t want my partner to be stuck dealing with me and my emotions. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about it for fear of feeling crazy or someone making light of the situation because to some it may seem like something so insignificant but to me it feels like the hardest hurdle to conquer.