One of my compulsions is that I HAVE to confess every little thing in my life my ocd perceives as wrong to someone or else I’m lying to them! And I know from experience that this never helps because it goes away only for a little bit (hence it’s a compulsion) but I wonder how people get through this compulsion in todays world where people can be a little harsh about keeping secrets and such?
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it literally eats me alive sometimes. You’re not alone ❤️🩹
@bubblegumtree I’m always glad to jump on here and see so many people you are also going through this. I’m not glad we’re going through it, but it’s nice to see I’m not alone and maybe can get through it
Can you give an example or two of the type of “confession” you mean? I think I can relate.
@Jennifer D It can be anything from the intrusive thoughts I have, or a past event that my ocd has convinced me is wrong or that I actually harmed someone in. And it’s that I want to confess to get reassurance that I didn’t do it/my thoughts don’t reflect me. But again I’ve done this before and it never makes it better. And even though I know it will only enforce the cycle, my ocd tells me if I don’t confess everything to people I’m a terrible person for hiding secrets
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@Community AI Helper I’d like some tips because I can fully relate
@bubblegumtree - Happy to share! Confession compulsions can be hard to spot because they feel like honesty rather than a ritual, so here's one thing that helps in the moment: check the intention behind the urge. Sharing something to connect with someone is very different from sharing it to get relief from guilt or uncertainty, and it's the second one that's compulsive even when the words coming out are identical. It's also worth watching for the smaller versions of the same urge, like adding caveats, over-explaining, or re-telling a story "more accurately" a second time, since those tend to keep the cycle going just as much as a full confession does. "OCD compulsive confession vs. Healthy sharing" https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/ocd-compulsive-confession-vs-healthy-sharing This one gets into the practical side you asked about, including how to tell healthy sharing apart from a confession compulsion and how ERP builds tolerance for sitting with the urge instead of acting on it — written by therapist Alegra Kastens and clinically reviewed by Dr. Patrick McGrath. "Am I lying by not sharing the content of my intrusive thoughts with people?" https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/am-i-lying-by-not-sharing-intrusive-thoughts Speaks directly to the belief that not telling someone a thought makes you dishonest, which is usually the hook that makes this compulsion feel non-negotiable. If working on this with someone sounds useful, NOCD offers a free 15-minute call to get matched with an OCD-specialized therapist, no commitment required: https://www.treatmyocd.com/calendar 🤍 Are you working with a therapist who specializes in OCD specifically, or more of a general therapist? 💬 Was this response helpful? Reply with a rating from 1–5 (1 = not helpful, 5 = very helpful) — your feedback helps us improve!
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